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Original poster

How do you leave a marriage?

6 replies

Dancingqueen90 · 08/10/2022 19:13

That really...where do you even start?
No one cheated..no abuse....no urgency to get out now.

BUT

I am not happy here. I feel trapped and it is a lonely marriage. 2 small kids. Functionality fine but emotionally it is lonely and I am finding it hard to contain. It has been like this for awhile.

Our mortgage deal is coming to a end so want to get myself out of here with the kids (I am not leaving them they are coming with me).

I need to find somewhere....it would have to be rental but the prices are high. And I need it to be near school and work. My finances are really tight and I am unlikely to get anything of him as his finances are crap. I don't think I could get out until the winter is over...
I still need to pay into the home to be able to keep it before it sells (if it sells). Finances are quite a restrictive factor but not eligible for any benefits.

My family are nearby so don't want to move areas but may need to. Kids primary age but eldest is due to start secondary in the next couple of year so don't want to upset that.

I have no clue where to start and I don't have anyone to ask in real life.

How do people do it?

I am not afraid to be on my own with the kids.

OP posts:
pippinsleftleg · 08/10/2022 19:14

Can you stay with family until the house sells?

Original poster
Dancingqueen90 · 08/10/2022 19:21

The only person with space is my parent and I have to keep them at arms length
My siblings are nearby but they wouldn't be able to accommodate us (nor would I ask) as they have full household.

OP posts:
CountdownCat · 08/10/2022 19:21

Dancingqueen90 · 08/10/2022 19:13

That really...where do you even start?
No one cheated..no abuse....no urgency to get out now.

BUT

I am not happy here. I feel trapped and it is a lonely marriage. 2 small kids. Functionality fine but emotionally it is lonely and I am finding it hard to contain. It has been like this for awhile.

Our mortgage deal is coming to a end so want to get myself out of here with the kids (I am not leaving them they are coming with me).

I need to find somewhere....it would have to be rental but the prices are high. And I need it to be near school and work. My finances are really tight and I am unlikely to get anything of him as his finances are crap. I don't think I could get out until the winter is over...
I still need to pay into the home to be able to keep it before it sells (if it sells). Finances are quite a restrictive factor but not eligible for any benefits.

My family are nearby so don't want to move areas but may need to. Kids primary age but eldest is due to start secondary in the next couple of year so don't want to upset that.

I have no clue where to start and I don't have anyone to ask in real life.

How do people do it?

I am not afraid to be on my own with the kids.

Me and ExH had to both live in the family home (separated) with DD while it sold then me and DD went into rented

Original poster
Dancingqueen90 · 08/10/2022 19:34

I am open to living in the same house till we sell, however not sure he would let me go. I am also worried how it would confuse the children too.

How did you manage your children and who turn it was with which parent?

Need to work through the practicalities of this one. This could be a option.

OP posts:
CountdownCat · 08/10/2022 19:47

Dancingqueen90 · 08/10/2022 19:34

I am open to living in the same house till we sell, however not sure he would let me go. I am also worried how it would confuse the children too.

How did you manage your children and who turn it was with which parent?

Need to work through the practicalities of this one. This could be a option.

She was only just turned 3 so we explained it in simple, straight terms.
ExH started looking after her every other weekend (mostly took her to stay with his parents a few hours away, or I went away to stay with a friend for the weekend) and I did the lions share the rest of the time. It helped that he didn't get home from work until 6/7pm and by that time I was doing bedtime.
House sold quickly chain free, so we did this for about 4 months.

Original poster
Dancingqueen90 · 09/10/2022 08:53

Thanks...yeah I work outside the home and home by 5.30, he WFH so will be difficult to not be around each other. Plus with the state of the economy I am not sure how long it will take the house to sell. But I can't financially burden myself for too long a period.
It's the finances that are the most restrictive factor.

Then I need to work out how we split having the kids, in the interim and future. I know some people do a week on and week off. But do the kids feel like their have a home, or is it mum's house and dad's house? I ideally want them more with me but I think he realistically he won't let that happen and he is a good influence in their lives. The thought of not being with them on their birthdays and Xmas when it his his turn, stings.

So much to process...!

OP posts:
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