Don’t want to it turn into song story so keeping it short
My 20 year relationship broke up a few years ago. It was toxic and he was emotionally abusive and he had an affair. During out relationship I got seriously I’ll which still affects me today physically and mentally. I have scars all over my body.
I have dated a few times but today twenty on a date and we hit it off. He’s a bit younger than me. I dropped him off at home after and ended up in his flat. I m not the sort of person to sleep with someone on the first night and am looking for a relationship and not casual.
we ended with me leaving even though part of me wanted to stay and he did too but he didn’t pressure me.
I had told him about my illnesses because he saw I had a blue badge but normally I wouldn’t straightaway, and about my scars, but he didn’t seem to be
anyhow I left and on the way home I just burst into tears. I feel guilty for moving on as part of me thought my previous relationship was forever and I feel like I’m cheating somehow.
I don’t want to be heartbroken again but also feel conscious about my body.
I know I deserve to move on and be happy but these feelings of guilt and opening myself is making me scared.
Just needed to vent.