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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling guilty and conscious

7 replies

User556 · 08/10/2022 01:57

Don’t want to it turn into song story so keeping it short

My 20 year relationship broke up a few years ago. It was toxic and he was emotionally abusive and he had an affair. During out relationship I got seriously I’ll which still affects me today physically and mentally. I have scars all over my body.

I have dated a few times but today twenty on a date and we hit it off. He’s a bit younger than me. I dropped him off at home after and ended up in his flat. I m not the sort of person to sleep with someone on the first night and am looking for a relationship and not casual.

we ended with me leaving even though part of me wanted to stay and he did too but he didn’t pressure me.

I had told him about my illnesses because he saw I had a blue badge but normally I wouldn’t straightaway, and about my scars, but he didn’t seem to be

anyhow I left and on the way home I just burst into tears. I feel guilty for moving on as part of me thought my previous relationship was forever and I feel like I’m cheating somehow.

I don’t want to be heartbroken again but also feel conscious about my body.

I know I deserve to move on and be happy but these feelings of guilt and opening myself is making me scared.

Just needed to vent.

OP posts:
JestersTear · 08/10/2022 02:17

I remember after the end of a long and significant relationship, feeling immensely guilty when I was on my way to meet a bloke for a date. I ended up pulling the car over and cried, as suddenly (after 2 years of getting over the previous guy) this new date signified the end of that long-term relationship.
As it turned out, the date came to nothing, but the fact that I went on one at all felt like a huge monumental change and it was scary and emotional.

User556 · 08/10/2022 03:43

I understand- It’s like closing a chapter in a book that you would go one all your life

part of me is being able to trust

OP posts:
User556 · 08/10/2022 10:53

Bump

OP posts:
User556 · 11/10/2022 07:33

Anyone else??

OP posts:
Andypandy799 · 11/10/2022 09:10

@User556 how did your last relationship end if you don’t mind me asking?

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 11/10/2022 12:09

He cheated

Andypandy799 · 11/10/2022 12:19

@NowWhatUsernameShallIHave well you shouldn’t feel any guilt for enjoying yourself and exploring new relationships. He was scum and there is no excuse for a cheat it meant he didn’t love you, sorry 💐

You've had time to grieve for the love you lost to a man who you thought you knew.

Just be careful of falling too fast or do the rebound thing. You need time to date and meet people and find that special one. Just be a strong independent woman and enjoy

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