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Original poster

Intimacy with small children.

25 replies

relationshipq · 07/10/2022 21:13

Me and DH have sex 2/3 times a week. We have a 12 month old. He says that that's not a lot and most couples do it more.

My question is... how often do you have sex if you have a young child?

OP posts:
Nina9870 · 07/10/2022 21:18

I have a two year old and 4 month old and yeh, similar to you, maybe twice a week? however some weeks we’re too tired.
I think a couple of times a week with small kids is good going personally! Also, if your kids are bad sleepers it’s harder

Afterfire · 07/10/2022 21:19

I think that’s quite a lot for a couple with a young child. We used to manage about once a week or less! Just absolutely shattered!! Now dc are older we have more energy but there are times when we’ve gone 3-4 weeks with nothing. Life gets in the way. We’ve been together 15 years.

FieldOverFence · 07/10/2022 21:21

How the fuck does he know exactly how much sex others are having???

Everyone is different, at that stage with a poor sleeper, if we did it once every 10 days, we were doing well.

The number of times you have sex is equal to the number of times both partners are into it, there's no such thing as "normal'

HumphreysCorner · 07/10/2022 21:24

Oh Lord, children are 13, 16 and 19 and it's impossible as they never go to bed 😂

UWhatNow · 07/10/2022 21:25

“He says that that's not a lot and most couples do it more.”

How much do you want it op? It’s not about him, or ‘other couples’, it’s whether, with a such a young child, you’re relaxed, having fun and enjoying it. That’s the only criteria. Once men start saying this sort of coercive crap it’s red flags for me tbh…

Kayjay2018 · 07/10/2022 21:26

HumphreysCorner · 07/10/2022 21:24

Oh Lord, children are 13, 16 and 19 and it's impossible as they never go to bed 😂

I was just coming on to say it's worse when they are teenagers! We have a two year old and 18 year so one of them is always awake!

Afterfire · 07/10/2022 21:28

HumphreysCorner · 07/10/2022 21:24

Oh Lord, children are 13, 16 and 19 and it's impossible as they never go to bed 😂

Yep same situation here. Dd is 19 and was home from university for the summer and we didn’t have sex the entire time she was home - too awkward, noise travels in our small house etc.

watcherintherye · 07/10/2022 21:28

That sounds like quite a lot to me! Enjoy it while you can, anyway, as a pp says it becomes much more difficult when they stay up later and are much more likely to know what’s going on!

Btw, I think your title could have been better worded. It reads rather oddly. ‘Intimacy when you have small children’, maybe?

Bestcatmum · 07/10/2022 21:28

Your DH is full of shit. Why is he putting this pressure on you.

2020firsttimemum · 07/10/2022 21:35

Oh blimey my other half would be jumping for joy!

We have a 2 year old and I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant but even before baby no2 he'd be lucky for more than once every couple of weeks 👀😂

Terrible I know but we both work full time with a toddler who doesn't sleep through most of the time and im tired!

Your husband should count himself lucky!

VerveClique · 07/10/2022 21:57

Yeah… enjoy it before they get to tweens/teens!!

Yetanothernamechangeagain · 07/10/2022 22:31

It was more like 2-3 times a year after the kids were born. Maybe your husband was getting “week” and “year” mixed up.

altmember · 07/10/2022 22:33

FieldOverFence · 07/10/2022 21:21

How the fuck does he know exactly how much sex others are having???

Everyone is different, at that stage with a poor sleeper, if we did it once every 10 days, we were doing well.

The number of times you have sex is equal to the number of times both partners are into it, there's no such thing as "normal'

Maybe he asked on dadsnet? 😂

paintitallover · 07/10/2022 22:39

He's utterly clueless.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2022 22:40

You're married to an idiot who also happens to be an arsehole. He doesn't respect you at all.

imnotthatkindofmum · 07/10/2022 22:57

I have never in my 18 year marriage had sex 2-3 times a week! Most people I know who I talk about sex with don't do it that often. With small kids that's definitely not common.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 07/10/2022 22:58

Twice a year so far, and my little one is 3 and a half.

That's not because the desire isn't there, but because we're knackered and don't push each other for sex like weird sex pests.

Your husband sounds like a sex pest.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 07/10/2022 23:00

We are 2/3 times a week, with a ten month old, two year old and teen. I thought we were fairly frequent considering!

pinkpanel · 07/10/2022 23:02

Glad this thread wasn't what I thought when I first read the title!!!!

Yeah I'd say 2-3 times a week with young dc is a lot

Twinningplus1 · 07/10/2022 23:58

I've got an 8 year old and twin 18 month old and we have to wake up early before work to get in 2 times a week, like we have to work for those 2 times so tell you husband to shut up he is lucky most couples I know with small children only have sex one or twice a month!!!

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 00:45

This time? Very few because I’m still sodding bleeding 11 weeks post partum but before that every second day at least. Normally stop bleeding 10-14 days after a baby and straight back to it but can’t really this time and it’s annoying me

Sunnytwobridges · 08/10/2022 02:08

That’s a lot even if you don’t have kids

LHReturns · 08/10/2022 02:09

Our kids are now 8 and 5 and I think we will start having sex again in the near future.

FrothyB · 08/10/2022 02:16

Through work and looking after our daughter who's 3, once or twice a month is good going for us. We always try around ovulation (or when we assume it to be).

The desire is there, the energy isn't. We're not in our 20's though.

DonnaBanana · 08/10/2022 13:39

He’s lucky to be getting any at all. This is such a critical time in a child’s life that he should be focused on that and not sex

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