I need some advice

[FFSgetagripoldlady]

Name changed.

Been with DP for 15 years. He's v successful. I gave up my career for kids and now have a good job earning very little.
He's really tight with £ and I hate it. He's also super stressed constantly by work.

He sets the tone of the house. Kids anxious when he's clearly grumpy. He shouts at them and is always on his phone.

He's often away for work so he's not around most weeks. Just weekends. He's the master of weapinised incompetence and the kids hate being late ( he's never on time and they hate arriving for their Saturday football late).

Not left for two reasons:
If he has contact then I can't control how he behaves towards the kids. I can't shield them if I'm not there.

I can't afford to buy him out of the house. My family can't help as aren't wealthy.

He has neglected our kids, me, our relationship and our planned future. I'm sad. I have hit a wall. Nothing changes.

How do I cope for the next few years until kids are finished school? Do I just chuck mine and the kids' security and move 4 hours away to live with my mum? Kids into a new school, new everything when all they know is our town and our amazing supportive friends? I feel so torn.

I have paperwork for ducks in a row but I know he will turn nasty and his parents will help him fuck me over financially. They are wealthy and they hate me.

I'm currently sitting at my desk (WFH) crying. What can I do?

Thabk you.

If you’re in Scotland there’s no such things as a Prohibited Steps Order, your STBX could apply for a Specific Issue Order around relocating the children. The law in Scotland tends to avoid making legal
orders in relation to children unless it can be shown to actively benefit them and there’s no other way to reach agreement. The children’s overall welfare is considered paramount and their views would be sought unless they are very young.

Remember most folk here will be coming from an English perspective in relation to the law, the law in Scotland in relation to families is very different so get proper legal advice based on Scots law.

Didn’t notice you were in Scotland oops

Thank you! I'm finding out how complicated this all is!

Hoping to avoid proper legal fighting. I am sti worried about his parents though cause they will be brutal.

Stay strong when they try to beat you down. Stick to the facts your solicitor has given you and do not allow them to make you emotional. Think of the future away from this person.

Sounds as though the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in terms of him and his parents

apologies for me raising issues that are not applicable in Scottish legal jurisdiction, however it seems wise to brace yourself for him playing dirty and throwing money at intimidating legal representatives. Try to stay calm and remember the more he misses it about you and the less about the children it will not impress a Court
he is likely to apply for injunctive measures even if they are not in the best interests of the children since his main mission will be to punish you for daring to leave.

focus on your future and your children’s. You can’t live your life like this and whilst now you feel daunted trust me you will get through it and be free.