Met my first female(same sex) crush 5 years ago. It was a short lived intense friendship followed by a almost one year gap of NC, followed by another year of frustrating attempts to patch things up. Until I said no, we cannot be friends and followed my blocking her a few months later. She soon followed to block back and forth although we had not been in proper contact, which shows she was checking up on me. There is nothing particularly attractive about her: looks, intelligence, character. We were both in relationships when we met, I still am, she isn’t. We very much had an EA for about 2 months at the beginning. I’ve gone over the obsessive thing that ruined my very minute of my existence, but she is still a daily presence in my head. I’ve gone over feeling calm, annoyed, angry, betrayed. I don’t feel anything anymore. But she still pops up in my head. She unblocked me on one of her sm platforms about a year ago. I wasn’t checking it, it’s just easy to realise. I did nothing. But from time to time I think about us being back in touch. It’s not a good idea. I just wish someone could tell me why this crush is so bloody long.