I haven't dated in nearly 25 years. Where to start?!

[Bubblegumpinks]

Divorced 5 years and haven't wanted to date. I've made an effort to socialise more after a low time initially but I am starting to think it would be nice to have company when DC with their dad. I can't imagine having someone else in my home or family life now after so long but meeting up would be nice.

OLD feels obvious but I can't imagine doing it.
It fills me with dread.
Maybe that is the only way though.

I was similar. Didn’t find dating -it found me when I was doing things I enjoyed -sounds old fashioned but take up a sociable hobby that really genuinely absorbs you -get to know female friends -don’t specifically look for a man and they will find you!

In a similar situation and I joined a local Meetup social group. There are 2 or 3 activities most weeks. Good mix of men and women, unlike my other hobby/volunteering which are 90% women.

I can't think of a hobby but I will keep thinking.

I did some meetups when I was initially starting to socialise more and had some nice evenings. Big group evenings out did get a bit wearing after a while though.

Get out and about. Be places. It's the only way.

Maybe I'm looking for short cuts were there aren't any.

I have a nice routine to my life and don't really want big nights out with lots of people but I guess increasing opportunities to meet new people is the obvious answer.

Why does it have to involve 'big nights out'?

What's up with gallery tours? History walks? Art classes? Exercise groups? Book clubs? Evening classes?

What are you interested in? What floats your boat? What do you enjoy doing? Go and do that, where other people are.

Maybe I'm looking for short cuts were there aren't any

I think you're looking for one thing, when it's better to immerse yourself in a 'culture'. Like looking at a cake and trying to find the egg. Just eat the cake. You still get the nourishment from the egg, but you don't have to separate it out first.

I didn't word this very well, when I said company I meant date like company. I do quite a bit socially, drinks with work mates, occasional theatre, lunch, cinema with friends. I don't go out lots but enough - but not occasions where I'd meet someone. I would love to do an evening class or book club but they tend to be on week nights when I'm not free. The walking groups are all Sundays when I have DC.
When I tried meetups nearly everything happening when I'm free involved group drinks or eating out.

Give online dating a go before writing it off totally. If nothing else it will get you back in the swing of making small talk with strange (and some of them are very strange!) men.

I’ve done it a few times over the years and have had mainly very positive experiences. One led to a long relationship, others a few nice dinner dates and most recently some amazing sex with a much younger man .

Yes you have to wade through a few frogs, but spending 20 mins an evening swiping and having a quick chat with a few guys can lead to a first date every week or fortnight, some of which may lead to more.

As long as you keep strong boundaries, filter relentlessly (don’t ‘settle’ - if someone does or says anything that turns you off just delete and move on) and have low expectations so you can’t be disappointed!

Bumble is good because women make the first move. Firstly this means you don’t get inundated with unsuitable guys messaging you. Secondly it means you aren’t meeting the type of man who would judge a woman for making the first move, so it gives you a certain power dynamic you don’t get on other sites.

@Bubblegumpinks so what is the plan and how's it going?