Sorry, it's long.
My BF since college, lets call her Sally, and I have fallen out. I noticed around 6 months ago that she never initiated catch ups. I got the message that she wasn't that bothered about meeting up but we live close to each other and do have recurring events (exercise class, same hairdresser) so saw each other at times. She had mentioned that she wasn't really feeling herself but it was just coming out of wintertime and I tend to almost hibernate myself. I took it as her saying that she didn't want to do much and that was why she never planned anything.
Anyway, two weeks ago she suggested doing something at the weekend and I know that I looked at her in surprise as it was the first time in a long time that she'd made such a suggestion. I readily agreed but no plans were made. The weekend came and went and I never heard from her. I'd chosen to not contact her as I'd become quite fed up of always being the initiator. The following weekend I phoned her and asked what had happened. She let rip at me, saying that when she'd suggested meeting up that I'd looked at her in disgust. She also said that she'd told me that she wasn't feeling herself and I'd done nothing to help her. She had supported me when I went through post natal depression. She had babysat so that myself and DH could go but I didn't do anything for her.
She says that she's depressed and knows what she needs to do about it, doctor, pills, counselling maybe, but isn't ready to do that yet. Basically it seems that I need to help cure her depression, which seems to mean that I need to invite her out to lots of social events, host her at mine whenever she wants and generally make her happiness my focus. She keeps throwing it in my face that she babysat for me (I never asked her to) when I was depressed. When I asked her what I could do to help her she said 'Why do I have to tell you'.
I'm really at a bit of a loss as to how to go on. DH and I had started to ask a neighbour to babysit so at times when Sally offered I told her that the neighbour was babysitting or that we weren't going out. Sally seems to be offended that I declined her offer. She's now offered again, in the spirit of us clearing the air and putting our friendship back on track. However, I don't think that I want to leave someone who's depressed and angry at me in charge of my kids.
Not sure where to go from here if someone is depressed but won't get help and seems to be making out that I'm an awful friend if I don't do something about it but won't tell me what I can do to help.....