You have entirely legitimate concerns and I think you are being sensible by thinking about all of this. There are so many warning signs so this is going to be long post, hopefully one that will help you.
he doesn't even know how to see our online banking despite me telling him what he needs to do so never knows what money we have each month left over
A long time ago I had a lazy boyfriend who got me to do things for him by infantalising himself. By pretending he didn't understand certain things, or saying he wasn't good at this or that, I usually had to step in otherwise it wouldn't get done at all. He could navigate porn websites very well, but somehow couldn't book plane tickets, and getting the money back off him was always harder work than it should have been. I was very young at the time, so didn't really spot what was going on until I was out of that relationship. Years later in his mid 20s, he mentioned his online bank account. I was suprised he was using that, but after I expressed this, he corrected me and told me his mum was still doing it for him....... IN HIS MID 20S.
What he was doing is called strategic incompetence. Look it up - it's how a lot of men get their partners to do everything for them. Their partners end up being a mixture of a P.A or a 2nd mother. Usually, the partner is enabling the man to do this by doing everything for them, but to be fair, they are often unfairly cornered into this position. They often feel sorry for their partner, or are guilt tripped into doing things they shouldn't have to do for another adult.
To the outside world, people may look at you as a couple and think how lovely he is, what a nice guy he is. You might be seen as 'the dominant one', the one that gets things done, who decides things, who plans things.......but actually, the woman is not dominant in this type of relationship. In fact, it's this type of man who is the dominant one here.
I call this 'dominating from the backseat'.
To the outside world, it looks like you're driving the car (the relationship) and the one in charge, but actually it's the person in the back who's dictating where you're going. It's you who has to drive, because they simply won't. They get to sit there relaxing as you drive them around like a chauffeur. They may not be the type of overtly loud, domineering man who shouts commands at their partner, but they are good at making sure they get to sit in that backseat and put their feet up.
he has no clue about anything
That's where he has you fooled, and when you realise that, you'll get angry. He is and adult man. He's got you to believe he can't manage, that he's somehow helpess like an infant. He will continue this illusion because so far, it's working out pretty well for him, isn't it? You're doing everything for him. He's got a nice P.A at home.
This is entirely different from two people simply having different standards. In that situation, there can be conflict because one person always wants to get things done first, but this doesn't seem to be just a clash of lifestyles. That's a man who has been babied all his life and needs a serious kick up the ass.
Every night it's the same and he will continue having cans of beer until bed time
That's not a niggle. That's a major red flag. I note that you end up driving because it's the only way you can spend time together out in the evening. Remember what I said about dominating from the backseat?
If TV doesn't interest him, that's fair enough. Lots of people are not lucky enough to have partner who like the same TV as them anyway. What matters is they're interested in spending quality time with you and make an effort to carve out time to do that.
I do want kids but I just can't imagine having kids with this man currently
Yes. No wonder.
OP, I would think very carefully before having kids with him. If you leave him, I can imagine he might do a U-turn and be wonderful for a few months. However, in such a situation, please ask yourself - what evidence have I been provided so far that he will be father material that I want? I think he's already shown you who he is. A lazy gamer who drinks too much. I'm sure he has nice qualities as well, but he's got you doing everything for him. Your family probably like him because he seems friendly enough, he's probably quite placid, is not totally crazy or getting wrecked in nightclubs. He probably seems safe to them.
It's so tragic to me when I hear about young couples going without sex for months or years. Obviously it's not important for everyone but it doesn't seem like you view him sexually any more. He hasn't helped himself has he? It's not really sexy for a woman to feel like her adult male partner is a manchild.