What outside of your relationship makes you happy?

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I know that happiness has to come from within and can't be centred around your relationship, which is something that I think I maybe struggle to see sometimes because obviously the person you're with should be the person you want to share most things with. So with that in mind, what other things outside of your relationship do you do, for yourself, by yourself or with others, that make you happy?

My career, my children and their lives, doing things with my lovely friends, visiting family, learning new things, hobbies.

I think of my relationship more in terms of a background stability and contentment rather than the reason for my happiness. They're a part of my happy life rather than the sole cause.

My friends, my family and my hobby.

oh god everything !! Work, friendships, making art, sport and fitness, nature, travel, learning stuff, reading novels, eating cake... of course the whole awe inspiring, thrilling, awful, boring, joyful, fascinating project of steering a handful of small humans towards adulthood.

Actually when I find relationships taking over me emotionally and I think of them too much, and my self esteem becoming too connected, that's an 'addictive' feeling for me and I know it means I need to be more present to the rest of my life.

Pilates, tap dancing classes, coffee/movies/dinner with friends. I like the movies by myself as well, particularly if it's something my family don't want to see. I do heaps without DH, as does he without me.

Pretty much everything I do. I can't imagine struggling to find other routes to happiness than my marriage. I'd say my marriage is probably the thing that brings me least happiness. I'm content enough and would rather have him around than not, but I get far more actual happiness from friends, family, my children, music, nature, walking, reading, gardening, etc.

My career, my friends, my family, modern literary fiction, food (learning about it, cooking it, going out to eat), music (playing it, listening to it, going to gigs), there’s probably more, but you get the picture.

I adore my husband, he brings me so much happiness. But it’s additional happiness, as my life was already happy before I met him.

As others have said, my relationship is absolutely NOT the main source of my 'happiness', I have a job I love, volunteering, hobbies, friends, Church amongst many things. I would never want to rely on one person for my state of happiness.

This only works if you have a good, steady, contented relationship, though. In my first marriage, I threw myself into things to try to find happiness outside the relationship, only to come home to him and feel all the happiness drain away.

After we split up, I was walking on air!

My second DH is steady and stable, and that's a much better basis for finding happiness inside other things. In fact, I have to force myself to think about me, as it's so easy just to mooch about with him!

I have to find it everywhere else as I don't have a relationship since DH died.

I foster which gives me great happiness (most of the time, I am bridging to adoption at the moment and I find that happy, sad and hard in equal measure). Yesterday I took myself off for a long walk and found happiness in the world around me. I listened to some music on my way home last night and that brought me happiness despite the bastard satnav dumping me in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, in an area I have never been to before. I think DH's fortitude in the face of his diagnosis and illness taught me a lot about finding happiness in the every day things.

Being outdoors. My dog.

The dog

Brilliant to have a little furry companion who just thinks you're the best human ever.

And going for a decent walk twice a day is good too - exercise in the fresh air and time away from all the other demands in life, time to think or time to just be

My job, I love it.
Music/gigs.
Getting a massage every now and again. Train rides.
Finding a really great book.
Weekend trips, even if they're for work.

And my dog, there really is something special about a little furry muppet being so excited to see you when you walk in. Even if you've only been gone for five minutes lol.

Happy?
Loads of things. Being at home Mn'ing on a Sunday whilst my boys watch endless football.
Eating. Tasty things in a cafe or restaurant.
Going on a lunchtime date with Dh. Or going somewhere and then having a sneaky G&T in a pub on the way home.
Being out with the girls, for curry and wine, planning our next long weekend to some European city.

I do find happiness in things outside my relationship (work, friends, being a mum, hobbies, decorating etc) but I don't get a lot of happiness from DH. No particular reason as he's a lovely person but I have this underlying feeling like it's not right for me anymore and in a way I think that seeps into my general feeling of happiness. I feel guilty about this and start to wonder if that is actually the reason as sometimes it feels like I should be happier

I suppose it's the contentedness I'm missing in my relationship at the moment.

It sounds like you should consider whether you want to stay married

I don’t rely on my marriage for my happiness but spending time with my dh, and doing stuff together is certainly part of my generally happy life

I'm walking down the road. Killing time on the high street prior to my annual hospital appointment. I have the sun on my back. Feels so nice. What's not to like. I feel fab.

Loads of little things. There's a small coffee shop just around the corner from where I work that's open really early. It's run by an Italian family who are both friendly and welcoming. When I come off a night shift I drop in and sit outside. I also love riding on the Tube, I know that sounds odd but it's sort of a mini adventure, same if I go anywhere by train.

I have lived in London all my life but I still love to explore. My mother is from Stockholm and it's great fun to see my relatives in Sweden. I can speak Swedish and German but I keep everybody amused with my English accent. Then I have a keen interest in history and have finally got hold of Suzie Edge's Mortal Monachs. I'm a strong swimmer, I love to bake and I have an old Mini that I look after myself.

I also love my chosen career. I had to work hard to qualify and I wouldn't do anything else.

I once read that you should see the start of every day like a blank sheet of paper. I try and fill the page by the time I go to bed.

My horse, child and dog. I think it is essential to have your own hobbies and interests outside of a relationship. Without outside interests I would go mad!

Same. My animals and being outside, specifically in forests and mountains.

Hobbies - I have met some lovely people outside my age group, from various backgrounds, so always plenty to talk about.
Gardening. Love seeing my plans work out.
Catching up with friends.
Listening to music. I listen to loads of different stuff, so never bored.
Creative stuff. Links to hobbies but some of the stuff I do at home.
Visit an art gallery or museum.
Read books. Love a good book.

Never stop learning. Through reading, travel, people, the world around.

My daughters, the gym, good food and wine with friends.
Walking with a good podcast.
Music

I enjoy learning languages and I’ve met some lovely people at evening classes. We are also buying a property in Europe so I’m enjoying looking through property websites and planning (and dreaming!).

Also my teenagers are (mostly) lovely to spend time with and of course my dog.