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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is your thoughts on this.

10 replies

northerngirl1987 · 05/10/2022 19:17

Ok long story but 3 months ago I met an amazing guy had a few social dates first then the first time I went to his we ended up sitting up all night and just talking and had a great connection, Any way things are going well but then we hit a bump as it started being we talking more than we had sex and he has a female friend who i was fine with and he said that they ever spent the night together they would end up talking like we did, he has also made some comments about my lack of confidence too he wants a woman that acts like a total nympho then a few days later he showed me a message he received from a woman online and said he was being honest me and he wasn't interested in but he said because she's too far away so that combined with the above comments made me think that he wasn't happy with me and when I tried talking to him about he took it as me dumping him which I wasn't and I tried explaining that. Anyway after a week of not chatting and seeing each other he said he was hurt from being dumped I didn't say the words dumped or anything similar he jumped to conclusions and of course his female friend backed him up, he says we will try and get past it. He then started calling me his girlfriend and making plans for our weekends days out etc so I thought great and started suggesting things too, he then starts saying it's going to fast but in the meantime I also found out he has other female friends who just chat with him advice several times a week and he said he was going this weekend to see a friend in Dundee, he just so happens to a female friend in Dundee, I tried to be ok with all this because men and women can be friends but I couldn't help but feel he was keeping his options open because I wasn't being like a total nympho every time we met but it was hard to relax sometime because everything I said something he would jump on it and make me feel like everything I said I was wrong. Also right at the start he was messaging me saying how much he missed, he wanted me to his, he wished I lived next door then a few months in I make suggestions to spend more time together based on what he's being saying and suddenly its overwhelming and stressing him out, I also found him about little lies as well. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts about this because I haven't got a clue!!!

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 05/10/2022 19:22

He's playing the field.

Are you happy with being one in a cast of many?

StrikeandRobin · 05/10/2022 19:22

Run.

He’s very manipulative.
He's also a total shit. No decent man would be saying they want a woman that acts like ‘a total nympho’. He sounds vile.
Block and move on.

MissConductUS · 05/10/2022 19:24

He wants you to be his "break glass in case of emergency" girlfriend. He does sound really uncooth.

Eslteacher06 · 05/10/2022 19:26

Aint no time fo dis shiz.

Get out of there

northerngirl1987 · 05/10/2022 19:35

Oh I ended it I knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me just kept being very distant then he said he wanted to slow down abit but he didn't slow down he barely spoke to me and it was coming up 3 weeks since we met so I messaged and ended it since he didn't have the balls too. He's one of those I don't want to be the bad guy kind of people even though he causes insecurity and confusion but gets angry if you call him out on it and says he can't be doing with the drama.

OP posts:
minticecreamisjustok · 05/10/2022 19:55

You did the right thing to end it
He's a narc and a player.

Lampan · 05/10/2022 20:00

He’s right about your lack of confidence. It’s probably why you put up with him treating you like this. He sounds awful and manipulative and clearly has no respect for you at all. Get rid and don’t allow him to worm his way back

Successgirl2022 · 05/10/2022 20:04

It looks like he is a womanizer. You've done the right thing finishing with him.

DosCervezas · 05/10/2022 20:31

You've found yourself someone who sounds skilled in the art of manipulative charm. Probably finely tuned from years of practice and mind games. Don't waste any more time on him.

Watchkeys · 05/10/2022 21:56

says he can't be doing with the drama

He is the drama, for you. Stay away from anyone who makes you feel you don't have a clue.

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