What is it that makes a two people a couple?

[Moonah]

Apart from the obvious thing - sex - what is it that is the difference between being a couple and being just friends?

Is it affection: hugging, kissing?

I'm asking because I'm trying to articulate why my H and I went from being a proper couple to being ... well, not.

I think it's a sense of total comfort, not in the sense of being able to slob around together (although that's important sometimes too!), but that you can be totally yourself all the time (and be appreciated/loved for it), you can tell them anything, you feel safe with them and that you will always be listened to. I love my female friends and am close to them but I don't have this with anyone except my partner. It is really hard to put into words though, what I've written above still doesn't quite nail it.

If you are labelling your marriage as abusive then that probably goes a long way to why you think you’re not a couple.

My Ex said in a mediation session that he was looking out for himself and at the time I didn’t clock on that simple statement articulated what I had been experiencing with him all along. He essentially checked out of the relationship but only admitted it in mediation. Soon after he assaulted me for the second time and went to prison.

We entered contact centre mediation after his release and it soon became apparent that in his mind, he was the victim and me the perpetrator. I ended the mediation a year later because it was a waste of my and DD’s time and I wasn’t prepared to put us through the wringer hoping for that emotionally immature man to finally grow up.

DD has somewhat of a relationship with him (entirely on his terms) but that’s her call. I probably will never speak to him again because I can’t imagine a reason to.