Always overlooked

[mymycherrypie]

I am single. Have had a lot of attention over the months but I always seem to meet the guys who don’t put in much effort, are only mildly interested - mostly in sex and not in who I am or my personality, no real passion or enthusiasm.

i did meet one seemingly lovely guy. Was married so that’s the end of that.

today I have had two messages from men who are seeing my friends, asking how they are and what present would they like for Christmas? i feel like why is no one asking what I want for Christmas. None of these men who are seemingly interested in me have asked or would even care I suspect. I met a lovely guy who then told me he preferred one of these friends.

i should clarify that I am told I’m very pretty, very warm, open, friendly, i get chatted up a lot but it’s always these non goer type men who mess me around and even make comments about said friends being hot. I’m not jealous of them at all, I love my friends so much and am grateful for them. This is more about how am I always so overlooked?

i get a lot of attention but none of it is meaningful attention is what I’m trying to say. What am I doing wrong?

You are doing nothing wrong....it's the people you meet that just don't fit your bill. Be positive. Don't give up and you will find Mr right if not Mr perfect..your age group may also be a factor...as we get older we get more selective...and we've often put down roots too...I know as someone in my 50's finding Miss right behind to seem a forlorn hope...but I keep trying...good luck.

Thank you for responding. I do feel like I have to lower my expectations a bit.

I am in my 40’s and there are a lot of younger men interested, so perhaps it’s that. i just seem to find the ones who aren’t really my kind of person and just want “hot”. Realise I actually have interests and that cools it down.

I think it’s not only the rejection, it’s that these friends boyfriends have contacted me to ask specifically about them and what they would like as gifts. That’s absolutely lovely, I’m glad they’ve met nice ones. Just who is asking what I want for Christmas. Just another reminder that no one is.

Can you ask your friends for tips, appoint them your dating advisors?

They will know you well and might be able to point out something that’s obvious to them.

Have a chat first about the level of brutal honesty you think you can cope with.

Hi @mymycherrypie don't lower your expectations. Find someone who meets them..they are out there..If you are in your 40's you might look in the 40's age range rather than 30's. You might find someone in that age bracket thats more likely to be who you want...I did pm you. Not to worry if you don't want to reply. J