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Original poster

What is the most surprising thing your DH has ever said to you

27 replies

Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 08:48

I was talking with my DH a few days ago about a family member who had lost his partner and a month later was with another lady 🤔😒 my DH said he would do the same. This really surprised me. I wonder if anyone else's Dh had said anything thats made you think wtf

OP posts:
XJerseyGirlX · 04/10/2022 09:01

My DH and I were once talking about age cut off's for relationships ( if we weren't together). I was shocked and a little disgusted when he said he wouldn't consider a relationship with anyone under 30 ( he is 43) but would sleep with anyone over 18!

I said that I thought it was bad that he thinks an 18 yr old is good enough for sex but not a relationship, he said he didn't see the problem.

BadAmbassador · 04/10/2022 09:06

My exH told me he was having an affair. Beyond shocked. Last thing I ever would have expected of him.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 04/10/2022 09:34

Not something that he said but something he did. DS was having guitar lessons and one day DH picked up DS's guitar and played Hotel California perfectly. I was Shock We've been married over 30 years and I had no idea he could play the guitar.

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 09:34

Both of those are shocking dont men think maybe I shouldn't say that as I sound like an arsehole

OP posts:
Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 09:36

The guitar one is funny you could have saved money he could have taught your ds

OP posts:
XJerseyGirlX · 04/10/2022 09:42

What surprised me more was he doesn't think he is an arse hole for thinking it! He is a lovely guy but this has just made me like him just a little bit less.

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 10:54

Well I certainly wouldn't go around thinking I would sleep with someone over eighteen so yeah was an arsehole comment and at odds with him being a lovely guy. Of course your going to feel differently about him

OP posts:
Badbaddogagain · 04/10/2022 11:07

That was a shitty insensitive to thing of your DH to say OP. He might think it, but why say it?

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 12:10

God knows probably said it because he would and we were talking about it re family member who has just done the same. Me personally I would be upset and would not consider it. But hey we are all different

OP posts:
ShitlandIslands · 04/10/2022 12:20

A couple of my single friends invited me on holiday with them and DP was really offended by it.

I haven't had any holidays or days out for five years.
While DP hasn't either, his job takes him all over the world so at least he's had the chance to see different places.
I haven't been more than 10 miles from our house (apart from a couple of shit conferences) in five years.

So my friends suggested I join them on their three-night holiday. I couldn't anyway but DP was really angry that they'd invited me.

It was weird. DP's usually really chilled. I'm still not sure what happened.

EarthSight · 04/10/2022 12:30

This wasn't an inappropriate attempt at humour was it?

Otherwise, it's an absolutely twatty thing to say. It shows you how little you mean to him, how superficial his connection is to you. You are like any other household appliance or decoration - nice to look at, useful, but fine to replace.

Some people, in their grief, might go looking for someone who reminds them of their partner, and some people might act recklessly in that grief, but other than in that specific context, I don't think I could get over someone admitting something like this to me.

Aggypanthus · 04/10/2022 12:30

'Happy birthday' on my birthday !

Toomanysleepycats · 04/10/2022 12:45

I overheard my husband talking to a mate, about three years ago.

He said he’s realised he’s at that age that if a woman looks at him, she’s not thinking about him sexually.

I was dumbfounded, he’s way over sixty, he’s just below average height, he’s slim but has been chubby in the past, and with the best will in the world, he’s never been good looking.

Is it because I just don’t ever think about men in that way? Or is it just men and their overwhelming ego?

Not impressed at all.

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 13:06

EarthSight I dont care because I would be dead anyway ??

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/10/2022 16:04

It's nowhere near as bad what the terminally ill ex FIL said to MIL, which was that she wasn't to ever betray him by meeting somebody else.

I think that after so long with somebody you love, it's natural to want that warmth and companionship when it's gone. After all, even the church says 'until death'. Not 'until you both die'.

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 17:04

Yes exactly it is till death do you part but I wouldn't say to someone dont you dare when I'm gone thats worse I would say

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EarthSight · 04/10/2022 17:05

Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 13:06

EarthSight I dont care because I would be dead anyway ??

I think you're missing the point.

Of course you'd be dead an unaware of it. What I was referring to though, is the implications this kind of statement has on your relationship now.

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 04/10/2022 17:12

On our relationship now it made me feel surprised but we love each other and in every other way hes an excellent partner kind considerate generous is on my team as in he wouldn't let anyone talk rubbish about me helps me when I need help.supports me in decisions I make. Its this one comment that shocked me never expected to hear him say that. Is good with my kids but he's not perfect otherwise he wouldn't have said that

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 04/10/2022 18:36

XJerseyGirlX · 04/10/2022 09:01

My DH and I were once talking about age cut off's for relationships ( if we weren't together). I was shocked and a little disgusted when he said he wouldn't consider a relationship with anyone under 30 ( he is 43) but would sleep with anyone over 18!

I said that I thought it was bad that he thinks an 18 yr old is good enough for sex but not a relationship, he said he didn't see the problem.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Last year, I had a fling with a man 20 years my junior. I wouldn't have had a relationship with him tthough. We were at totally different life stages and wanted totally different things.

It wasn't about him being good enough for sex but not good enough for a relationship.

JustKittenAround · 05/10/2022 02:43

Toomanysleepycats · 04/10/2022 12:45

I overheard my husband talking to a mate, about three years ago.

He said he’s realised he’s at that age that if a woman looks at him, she’s not thinking about him sexually.

I was dumbfounded, he’s way over sixty, he’s just below average height, he’s slim but has been chubby in the past, and with the best will in the world, he’s never been good looking.

Is it because I just don’t ever think about men in that way? Or is it just men and their overwhelming ego?

Not impressed at all.

Male ego!!!!!

Makes me laugh almost ever single day!

Nobody has looked at that man on the regular, with adoring eyes since he was a small baby!!! Sexually? He should be lucky you did!

BitOutOfPractice · 05/10/2022 02:59

“I thought we’d give reduced salty and sugar baked beans a try.”

You think you know someone, then that sort of talk comes out of their mouth.

Poppins2016 · 05/10/2022 03:12

I've heard several people say that moving on quickly after the death of a spouse is an indicator of a happy relationship (if it was unhappy, people are more likely not to seek out another relationship). So I'd try to take it as a compliment!

@ShitlandIslands, was your partner maybe reacting due to feeling left out (i.e. did he think he should should have been invited too)?

Original poster
Sarahbumdaa · 05/10/2022 08:27

Yes I've also heard moving on quickly after death of a spouse is because their relationship is good also.

OP posts:
VickerishAllsort · 05/10/2022 08:53

"Will you marry me?"
I nearly choked on my korma.

Badbaddogagain · 05/10/2022 08:56

My DB moved on incredibly quickly after his first wife died, I felt just a couple of months was very disrespectful of her and their children but I came round to it in the end, mainly because I know my SIL would not have wanted him to be alone.