how to tell someone its over

[yellowmellow]

married for 24 years.
Not been happy for about 7 of those
Separate beds for 3 years
Husband still very affectionate and will be devastated to find out I've found someone else
How do I tell him and what words do i use.
It is definitely over, thats it, no going back.

please help me

You poor thing, have you got children tgether?

I think all you can do is tell the truth, he will be upset and angry and hurt probably and it will be awful

but there isnt an easy way imo

We do have children, older, 16 and 14, they will also be devastated but I just need some advise on where to start - hes not likely to get angry but is going to be so hurt I know he will try to make me stay but its too late

And can I reasonably expect to stay in the house with him until we sort all the stuff out?
How will it work, can we function in same house with him knowing I want out?
What a nightmare thats why I've never done anything about it but now i've met someone whos widowed and realise life isnt a dress rehearsal

when i did this i left the house

there is no right way just the way that the children are put firstduring the break up

That's really sad for you both, I feel for you having to tell him, but I suspect he may have seen this coming, what with separate beds and all... only thing you can do is make a date for an uninterrupted chat. I read somewhere that when breaking unpalatable news to sandwich it inbetween nice stuff... that is, tell him how much you've enjoyed your time together or whatever, tell him it's over, then list a few qualities you still admire in him and are grateful for. Sounds a bit corny but it's meant to soften the blow. Hope this helps.
x

Echo put the kids first. Just be gentle but perfectly honest with your husband. Then sort out the practicalities. Good luck.

Start by telling him he has to agree that with the different beds etc, he must realise you are not a 'normal' couple, then take it from there?

thanks for some of those comments, i think especially isue1, its amazing how normal we are apart from that, but it is a longstanding problem and this is the outcome. when my friend broke up with her dh she didn't care about hurting him but i do care about mine even though i dont want to stay iyswim