So a bit of a long one.
Me and Ex together for 15 years, 2 children (5) & (11). Lots of questionable moments throughout our relationship. Late home from work, disappearing acts early hours whilst working away. When 6 months pregnant with DS there was an occassion I asked if he could take over childcare so I could attend an appointment (hair not maternity kind). He claimed to be working and unable to get away, I questioned (and wrongly stalked location using google) to see him sat in a layby. He still does not know I saw this, but he threw the biggest argument to a point I thought I was really taking a hit with pre-natel depression.
Scan forward 5 years and several questionable events, I decided enough was enough. Lack of help in the house (we both work full time), the love was lost and it was more a roommate situation. He was devasted and I had had time to process before announcing I guess.
The issue comes in that we remained close and had some really good hear to heart conversations where it transpired he was meeting men in laybys. I was relieved I wasnt going a bit mad and reeling in the sadness of being lied to. I quickly met someone and fell quite fast much to ex' disapproval, I am happy.
My issue now is I know he is still meeting men (and women) for sex. But the picture he portrays to people is him being home alone and me all happy with the new partner. From the outside it appears I have left him for someone and he is all sad and heartbroken, we had big issues with our eldest and him relaying his emotion onto her saying things like "I am going to be all alone at home when you go with your Mum" "I have no plans, what am I going to do on my own, everyone has their families".
I am absolutely furious to have found a snippet of a video of him calling out my choice of partner, claiming himself is "no oil painting, but this guy...." No one knows the big reasons apart from my parents. I am constantly being judged for leaving and I am killing myself emotionally as I do not feel this my secret to tell? I am getting really annoyed at the comments and passive comments about how perfect my new life is! I suppose I want to see if I am being dramatic and should just suck it up, accept my choices and move on! I am hugely concerned about being judged by people which is an issue I need to manage I guess.