When it's not awful, but not good enough.

[AllTheUsernamesLeftAreShit]

DP and I have been together 11 years, one DC of 2.5. I feel like it's the end of the road, but it's also not awful. We're basically housemates with no shared interests. We literally never do anything as a family. I feel like the maid a lot of the time, I moved out for a couple of weeks 18 months ago and wish I hadn't come back.

It's not awful though. I feel like if it's not dreadful I'm doing something wrong if I go. I'm also quite aware that I'd be starting from scratch just as I turn 40.

Do you feel as though you've just clicked into companion mode? No sexual attraction, like he's your brother? Or is it more like you've become 'mum and dad'?
How does DP feel about it?

We've had sex twice in the last three years and I'm not remotely bothered any more. I'm not sure we even qualify as companions, we maybe watch one TV programme together once a week and that's it. Everything else is separate.

He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't really do emotions, he said he'd go to counselling if I came back but never did.

I just feel so disappointed with life at the moment. I was so excited to become a little family and we're just not.

What would you say to your DC if she / he has the same relationship with their partner?

You are never going to move forward if he won't even talk about your problems so how can anything ever improve ? But do you feel like you want to anyway , it sounds not

Sounds like it’s time to cut your losses. There’s lots more life out there you could be enjoying!

I don't know whether I don't want to fix it, I'm just not sure that I can. If he's not prepared to communicate and become more of a partner then my only options are leave or suck it up.

I'm just so very sad right now.