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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can we get back on track?

1 reply

trampoline123 · 03/10/2022 14:13

I am engaged to the best person and we have 2 young children. This year has been tough, major illness and resulting major surgery, a family bereavement, major money struggles etc have really effected us.

I've recently gone back to work full time and our children are at a childminders. Life is busy! We have no family support around us and haven't had a date in over 2 years due to this and lack of spare cash.

My brain is in constant overdrive thinking what needs to be done, meal planning, cleaning, our life admin etc. we have major financial worries and I am stressed and feel mentally drained.

I've started to resent my BF because I feel such a heavy weight and all the responsibility, I feel like I don't have a partner. Examples I'm taking on a cash in hand job on weekends for extra money and selling clothes, really strict on food shop etc and he's not really helping or doing things he said he will do.

We barely have sex, I'm snappy, tired and moody.

It all came to a head this weekend and I broke down. I'm not easy to live with at the moment.

I explained why and we had a good chat and agreed what we need to do to try and turn it around. Mainly being open communication, he will help more and I'll stop being such a control freak.

What else can I do? I don't want to lose him but feel I'm almost pushing him away as I think he will be happier without me.

I don't want to feel miserable and be snappy but unless things change day to day I will be.

Advice please

OP posts:
Homewardbound2022 · 03/10/2022 14:21

Instead of asking him "to help", tell him to step up and pull his weight.
You sound worn out. Hope you can improve your circumstances.

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