How do I stick to a breakup?

[tryingtobestrongthistime]

For background - together a good few years and married for a couple, one toddler DD. Mortgage and everything is in my name so that's the easy part done.

DH has been abusive over the years, I've always let it slide and put it down to the stress of having a hard job etc. I've tried my best to make the marriage work, mainly for DD's sake but it has to end now as I don't want her growing up in a tense household with arguments and a father that doesn't respect her mother, and a mother that's sad because she resents being in a marriage she doesn't really want to be in. Anyway, I finally bit the bullet a few days ago and asked him to leave. All his stuff is still here so there's all that to sort out but right now I'm trying to concentrate on me and DD.

I keep thinking about the good times we've had, the happy times, holidays, doing things as a family, and I have to keep reminding myself that was only part of it and he was abusive and horrible. Especially towards the end, he got so vile I was terrified he was going to hurt me. Luckily DD wasn't here so didn't see any arguments.

I have no idea where he's gone, I assume he's gone to stay with his family or his sister who he's close to. And I can't help feeling guilty I've "thrown him out" of his home, even though it's my house and I bought it before we married, he just moved in with me.

How do I stop the guilt? How do I make sure I don't relent and let him back like I have done in the past? I also need to know how to cope as a single mother - how do you do it?! I don't work as I was a SAHM anyway and can still make that work for now, but I am under no illusions that DH is not going to be able to take her, if he even wants to, and have proper contact. I don't have any family who can help out either so im going it completely alone. I just need to make sure I stick to it - how?
I know it's the best thing for DD, and for me too but I keep feeling really sad and guilty like it's my fault now she's got no dad or family.

I really just need reassurance and people who have been through something similar. Thank you if you have read this.

You have definitely done the right thing, for yourself and your child.

It also sounds like you are in a great position financially.

Whenever you have a wobble, re-read your post or write a list in your phone of all the awful things he’s done to you and read it when you need to.

The first few weeks will be hard, but you will be so much happier in the long run x

I read a Paul McKenna book many years ago one of the things he suggested doing was think of your happiest memory with him picture in your mind then take out the colour and reduce it and sort of effectively squash it in your minds eye. Then take an unhappy memory and colour and magnify it in your mind. Sorry if it sounds a bit wacky but it did help…