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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Nasty bf how to leave pregnant with HG

2 replies

Anon1324 · 02/10/2022 18:48

Hi I am feeling super down lately. I have been with my bf 9 years and have a 1yr old and am currently 9 weeks pregnant. We have been rocky for a few months due to me failing a uni assignment ( I was 8 weeks pp at the time) and having to resist the year and therefore delaying me getting a job. (We are not broke but he was hoping for another income which I get) but he has said multiple times I’m a failure blah blah and since has been verbally and sometimes physically abusive towards me. I am on the pill and found out I’m pregnant which I was not expecting. I have been diagnosed with HG and have even been hospitalised with it as I was so dehydrated. I’m struggling so badly with trying to look after my daughter and the house and so fourth. We recently had a big argument and then 2 days later I had to go to the hospital because of HG overnight and he didn’t once ask if I was okay. The next day was my birthday and he didn’t even wish me a happy birthday or even get me a card! Only a card off my daughter. Not even a present and no effort went into it. I am over the relationship I don’t want to be with him and I dont know how to leave with a 1 yr old and pregnant. Just looking for some kind words really. I have also spoken to his mum about it (we are close) and she is saying it’s his mental health but no one deserves to be treated like that. Also when I confronted him about not helping around the house he said ‘well it’s self inflicted’ (meaning my HG). I am broken.

OP posts:
Unanananana · 02/10/2022 19:40

Get rid of the dickhead and seriously think about whether or not you should keep this baby. You were on contraception so another one clearly wasn't planned.

Single parenthood would be easier than this car crash.

letmeeatcrisps · 02/10/2022 21:26

I’m so sorry .. I was in the same boat - HG, a toddler and an abusive man child for a partner :( it’s really really hard. He flipped between moaning that I was sick all the time and telling me my sickness wasn’t so bad :/
i don’t have any advice but just wanted to reassure you that he sounds like a prick and it’s nothing you’ve done wrong … I swear every other thread on mumsnet tonight, and every other conversation I have with my female friends is about abusive men . So sick of the culture that encourages it. I think something is seriously wrong with society, so many men are aggressively useless and mean to their partners
i can’t advocate to leave him as I never left mine properly but I did escape by moving to my own house with the kids … I hope you find peace somehow x

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