Drink driving with toddler

[Sophie0983]

Hi everyone, I need some advice for my next steps here & also want to know if I’ve got any of this wrong?

my partner drank from 2pm to 4:30 - 2 big bottles of beer so almost 2.5 pints. He drove my little one to the playground, came back and drank another big bottle of beer around 5:30pm. We then all met up for dinner at 7:30, where he then had a pint and a half. He then drove himself and toddler home.

I was none the wiser to what he had already drank whilst we were out until the next day I found all 3 beer bottle caps.

we have been in a serious car accident before where he was the driver & I am shocked and disappointed he would drive In this situation.

he says that the alcohol would’ve worn off by 7:30 so he could drink with his dinner but that seems off to me? Surely not?

I don’t know what to do. There’s no definitive answer on Google on how long alcohol stays in your system for.

all I know is that 3 big bottles of beer is the equivalent to a bottle of wine, and I certainly wouldn’t be driving my child around or myself for that matter after drinking a whole bottle, over 3/4 hours.

what do I do?

I'd leave my husband if he did this with our kids. I could never, ever forgive him for it.

But also- what about other people's children he's endangering with his behaviour?

He sounds like a total arsehole even if he is an alcoholic. He doesn't have to drive.

I’d worry that what he will have learned from this is to hide the bottle caps.
I don’t know whether a separated parent with a history of this would get the same access to the child — might be worth looking into.

He is not a good dad and not a good partner. Protect your child. He can make his own choices - but your child is at his mercy. He could have bloody killed someone - himself, your child, a pedestrian and their child…whichever way, your child would have been affected. LTB.

Like father, like son in his case. You are in a relationship where his primary relationship is with drink, it’s not with you or his child.

Women in poor relationships also write the good dad comment when they can think of nothing else positive about their man, just as you have done. He is NOT a good dad nor partner to you.

What do you have here really?. The only good thing to have come out of your relationship with this man at all is your child. Did you yourself see a heavily drinking parent while you were growing up?. I also doubt very much he would bother very much with his kid at all, let alone half the week as she would interfere with his drinking time. You’d be lucky to get maintenance from him.

Buy a breathalyser. Then he can’t argue that he’s not above the limit.

The 1.5 pints you knew about it too much to drive on imo

I understand your worry about him having your child half the week if you do leave him.
I think you'd need to seriously think about speaking to a professional and telling them your concerns about him. Your child will be at risk.

He's an idiot and you have low standards of what you'll accept.

One you won't change, the other can.

If he is drinking in a afternoon, at home, while looking after a toddler, driving after, drinking more, driving the toddler again, he is already an alcoholic. That’s poor choice after poor choice.

He needs to address the alcoholism, join an AA group, and stop drinking entirely.

I‘m going to attend an AI group meeting Wednesday to get some advice and help. My partner already started to get help with drinking and has an appt pre booked this week with a company who offer alcoholism support. I’m hoping this helps 💔 in the mean time I will be doing the driving for sure. Defo feel the need for a breathalyser but it doesn’t feel right to get to that point … I’d rather leave than warp my own behaviour & make adjustments to his.