What's do I do ?

[Norwichgirl374]

I begged for my partner back and now i feel like hes taking advantage. We were together 7 years and in that time he met my family once, has never been out with my friends never does anything im interested in. Does nothing for me to the point his fsmily turned on me and he defended them and i spent the next 2 years proofing i was telling the truth. What shall i do ? Do i leave or do i stick it out becaus i love him?

Oh ffs he doesn't give a fuck about you. Leave or stay to continue being treated like crap, the choice is yours.

Why did you want him to take you back, it sounds toxic.

What is to love about that?

Why do you love him? He doesn't give a shiny shit about you.

You fell in love with a dud.

Move on.

He has this ways with words that make me think I'm the problem. He says I don't think like a normal person. I tell him what I need from him but falls on death ears. I just feel lost

Gaslighting. He is grinding you down , leave and block.

Lose the millstone and you will find yourself

Do you need a man, even one that makes you feel shit about yourself, so much ?

He is manipulating you

I mean what do you get out of this relationship apart from nice words?

Actions speak louder than words - he does nothing for you, he has not met your family, he does not defend you to his family, He’s not interested in meeting your friends and tells you you are not normal. Sounds like a catch (not!)

It’s completely unclear why you love him but love is not enough. Love which keeps you with someone who treats you like shit is a love which should be starved out of existence not fed.

You don’t say how old you are but you’ve wasted 7 years on this guy. I may be way off beam but I’m guessing that as a child you were treated with very little care and made to feel unimportant and unvalued. You therefore never learned to value yourself and have accepted a relationship with someone who treats you carelessly and keeps you at arms-length.

Given what you say about loving him, you might find it useful to read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.

I'm 37 with 4 children none of which are his but he still took me on. I was abused by my father growing up and my mum allowed it to happen so yes I'd say I did grow up with very little care. I don't no what there's to love really but every time we've split I beg for him back It's like I cant cope without him. I hate feeling like this. I'm trying so hard to be strong but I feel like I'm failing at everything. I will give he book a read thankyou

Being single is way more preferable than being in a shit relationship.

Bin him off and work on being happy on your own.

I'm a lone parent, there is no way id consider it "taking me on" it's an insult to your worth.

It is not fair to or good for the wellbeing of your dc to have this situation ongoing. If you cannot leave and block for yourself do so for them. You are not modelling a positive relationship for them to aspire to or him being a good influence in their lives.

You don't love him, you really don't. For as much as he's gaslighting you, you're also doing it to yourself. You have conned yourself into believing you love and need him. You don't.

You really don't love him and the words you e used , in your posts, suggest that.

You're scared of being alone. You're scared that you won't cope.

You will cope. Honestly, you will.

Do you have family/friends nearby ?

I'd give Samaritans a ring. They will be best placed to signpost you to some support services who will be able to help.

You and your children do not need to be involved with someone who clearly doesn't care and whose family are always going to be on his side.

You can do this.

None of that is love, absolutely none of it.
You can leave him, enjoy going out with your friends, meet new friends, do what you like. Or you can stay and be gaslighted and manipulated by him. You have choices.

It’s not love, it’s a trauma bond.

You deserve so much more, how can we help you to leave him? Who’s house do you live in?

Sorry, didn’t read the bit about your 4 children. I thought it was just you and him.
Contact Women’sAid, tell them what you have written here. Have a chat about your options.
Im really sorry but it sounds as if he targeted you because you were vulnerable. You’ll be ok without him, you just need a bit of real life support.

You don't love him. That isn't love. Some kind of dependency or smth maybe, but not love. See a therapist and work out what is going on for you.

Why do you believe him? Why don't you believe yourself?

You tell him what you want and need from a relationship, and all he does is tell you that you're the problem. Turn that around.

You are not getting what you want and need out of this relationship, and the reason for that is not you, it's him. But he is never going to either admit that, or change to become the person you need him to be.

Please take the good advice from other pp's on here, and seek outside support. And get rid of him. He is no good for you.