I"m a 24 yr old M, my gf of almost 2 yrs is 22 yrs old, we met in the winter of 2020(i know, the timing lmao). We clicked instantly, Ive always known she's the one, and she feels the same way towards me and always have. I met her parents 2 weeks later and they seemed cool. But the more often i came over the house, her parents never engaged in conversation with me, and never even asked what my intentions with their daughter are, you know, basic stuff.
As time goes on, my gf isn't allowed to take her car to my house anymore because in her parents heads .......im the boy and i should be driving and spending all my money on gas and car repairs. We both still live at home, I just got into a physical therapy program and am literally a broke college student. Her parents hate the fact i don't spoil her and take her to fancy restaurants because in their heads going to Ihop as a college student is a insult to their daughter. My gf doesn't feel insulted at all and she cant stand how her parents are either, they're materialistic
I am currently at the mercy of using my parents cars to go to work, school, and help to do errands around the house. My little brother also has mental health issues that need attention so i have all those things to juggle. Her parents hate the fact that I don"t fit their box of "fitting into the family", yet i don't smoke, drink, waste money, i have a plan for school, work, business and i want to support their daughter. But it is really unfair for them to lecture their daughter about why cant i support her right now when they want me to, like.....IM IN SCHOOOOOOOOOL!!!!! Yes it sucks i have to juggle my mom and dads schedules for when they need the car, but i also cant make the financially irresponsible decision right now to buy a car, and forgo my tuition money and take on student loans i wont be able to pay back just to appease her narcisitsic parents. I am planning on getting a car during the winter break as i am going into my last semester of the program and will need my own car to get the clinical rotaions(working for the school for free for 12 weeks to pass the program...yes that's how it is...welcome to heath care education, it sucks)
her dads a doctor and had his schooling paid for by mommy and daddy and her parents have no idea what the reality of putting yourself through school is like and then they blame me......and lecture her....as if me being me and doing the best i can is their daughters fault.....it pisses me off, they all talk behind my back to my gf, but when i go over the house, its all smiles and "hey how are" BS, empty words. i told them my grandfathr has cancer 3 months months ago, and they've NEVER ONCE asked me how he's doing
They've told her i cant provide for her and that I'm gonna live off of her(she also wants to do physical therapy and is in the process of applying to school, and all she can do right now is wait for her applications to come back). She's defended me saying how i practically fully support myself financially
while living with my parents and how ridiculous hers are being(my parents piss me off too but i'm handling it)....but they just don't care.......mind you, her parents track her phone, her BANK ACCOUNT DIRECT DEPOSIT INFO, venmo account, credit cards, and her car with a
camera
And since they have CAMERAS IN THE HOUSE, they can see our conversations........her parents were away on vacation and i came over, my gf has a little sister who i thought i had a close relationship with.....so i jokingly referred to my gfs sister, and my brother as the 2 "morons".....i was referencing the show "The Goldbergs" on ABC where the dad calls his kids MORONS in the show, and it became a running joke in my family that all the kids are considered the MORONS....but its always in a loving tone....
the sister told the parents i called her a moron without context, they saw the footage, then her father goes and tells their family and friends and now my gf tells me that her dad gave her"3 days" to end it with me.......like who tf r u to tell your 22 yr old daughter, (who mind you got herself a full time job ON HER OWN, makes her own money ON HER OWN,
and is applying to schools on her own)....what to do in her relationship, she isnt a teenager shes 22 going on 23 in a few months....
Then yesterday her mom cries to her younger sister at the dinner table that "Im afraid we're gonna lose Gf from the family"....her mom cant even just be direct to the daughter shes "worried" about.....both her parents are refusing to speak to her until she breaks up with me
All her parents drama caused me to fail a major exam that i have to retake or else im out of the physical therapay program ive poured all my blood sweat and tears into and its causing my Gf mental distress. she used to go to therapy in high-school and i've been telling her to go back for her own sake, but she's scared her parents will see the billing statement from the insurance.....
When her parents are mad they just don't speak to her, they don't even scream, to me it seems like a win with no whining parents, but to my Gf it makes her feel like a failure and she doesn't know if we should just go on a break until she gets into school and is living off campus, or she tell her parents we are broken up and stayed friends....and we stay together in secret and meet up at place in public near her job, the gym, and even her therapy(she says she is going to call the therapist today) for the next 6 months until she is out of the house and gets into school
she loves me, i love her, but her controlling narccisistic parents are driving the both of us crazy and its effecting my school and her mental health....
Do i continue seeing her on her way out of work, meeting her at the gym and going with her to her therpy and stay a secret for 6 months? or do i go and sit down with her parents and explain myself because after 2 yrs they have no idea who i am since they never try to get to know me....my gf says that'll make it worse but i hate not standing up
As i'm writing this she tells me she told her parents we decided to be friends, but we just see each other in secret until she gets into school and then its " screw you mom and dad, we make each other happy" and she doesn't have to be home in that negative energy and stress all the time
help