Sons grandmother!

[Bluemoon22]

I need some advice as i'm not sure what to do. I feel really badly let down by the police. My ex partner (sons dad) was arrested for physical/sexual abuse towards me on the 1st sept. Social services said he was to have no contact with his son. 2wks ago social services agreed to supervised contact with ex partners mum doing the supervising. This hasn't started yet however fast forward to today and ex's mum rang me to say he is still on bail however there's now no conditions to it so he can contact me if he likes which i duno how true this is because no one from police has let me know. His mum is complaining to social services because why should she have to do a 3hr round trip to supervise when police guy said yesterday there's no reason he should never have been stopped seeing his son and no reason for supervised contact yet all the abuse happened infront of our son. Ex's mum also agrees that he shouldn't have to pay me child maintenance because he might lose his job cos of this investigation which she has said is all my fault and i should never have reported her son. In this instance what would you do? Would you inform social services and the police of her behaviour towards me?

Yes I would inform the police and social services and not let your son see either of them until you have confirmation of what was agreed. The police would not have told her anything yesterday.

@HappyHamsters apparently they told my ex that information yesterday and he's told her so at the minute i don't know how true that information is

Block all of them and go no contact. It's the only way. They'll fry your brain otherwise.

Social services can only stipulate supervised contact if they're actively involved with you or they're investigating you. Obviously a court can rule for supervised visitation but social services can only suggest it unless they're actively involved.

Re: what the police officer said, it sounds like he wasn’t aware that supervised visitation has already been agreed. It sounds like he was under the impression it was just something you yourself have demanded.

Keep a meticulous diary. Inform the police and ss of every detail.

You need to write down everything that was said - perhaphs try and get it in writing if you can (is there a sneaky way you can do this by asking a question and getting her to confirm ect?) then report to police and social services sounds like she's threatening you OP

Using phone records to document it all as evidence

I feel like my ex has completely brainwashed her because she believes he's done no wrong and refuses to listen to my evidence against him that says otherwise. I also feel like he is now getting her to do his dirty work to get at me and still bring me down. I feel like me as the victim has just been pushed aside and no one gives a shit yet the police are bending over backwards for my ex. Why do abusers get away with everything with no consequences yet the victims still suffer

Block them both. The police are doing their job and will contact you when they need to contact you. You have no reason to talk to your ex or his mum at this point.

Report and record everything.

That's exactly why you have to contact police and social work and check if it's true, or just Ex lying to his mother or his mother lying to you.

As you are the victim I would not have thought contact with you would not be allowed .I was told by police what other person conditions were and to phone 999 if I needed to.phone and check with the police

Something doesn’t sound right. He could be lying to his mother, so if she then repeats what he said and gets pulled up on it it’ll be her who “misunderstood”. Or he could have just decided that if he says something enough it must be right.
I’d block them both, call police and SS and get the correct version.
I think you need more support than you’re getting, you could call Victim Support ( I don’t know how good they are, no direct experience) or Women’s Aid , I understand from reading on here they have support workers.