So long story short I'm back living with family (hopefully only short term until I can find a suitable rental) my own fault. Should have have better.
But my gosh is it bringing up some complicated feelings. When I left home over a decade ago I had seriously poor boundaries...and ocd. Over the years I healed. Funily enough, I've only ever seen my ocd resurface on family holidays (when younger).
Anyway, my dad is the controlling sort. I try to stay out of their way as much as possible. But...he sings. OK, you say, so what? Can't a man sing in his own home? xD but omg it's bringing up such a rage in me.
If he wakes up in the morning he sings and wakes the whole house. Usually its just 20 seconds of singing every five minutes or so...over the course of a few hours. But no joke, he's currently been singing for an hour downstairs.
I've put some music on. And I'll head out in a bit. I'm trying to be gracious as they are putting me up atm afterall! But it just...I think I'm so angry because i realise growing up, I couldn't create head space because well, noise carries. I think that was probably a substantial contributor to the ocd. He also didn't like me listening to my own music (always a judgement on my choices) and I suppose that was because it was an escape for me.
Anyway, got me thinking about how controllers don't let you have head space in various ways. Wondered if anyone else had experienced similar.