Being let down

[SoUpset1984]

I have 2 grandsons who I love with all my heart.

I was asked to mind them last week,that got cancelled.
I won something that I gave them
They picked the day it was to be used and they've cancelled that.

I don't expect to see them everyday, people have lives.

But it seems like I'm bottom of the pile when it comes to seeing them.

I'm really upset I just can't get over that I feel they don't want me to have a relationship with them.

I’m sorry to hear this that is sad. Is it your son or daughter’s children? Could you have a word with them and say you’d really like to have the boys over one weekend?

Was the prize you won and gave to them lost then as it was cancelled ? if so that is hugely disrespectful to you. However it may just be that they have busy lives and are a bit thoughtless. If you make a plan to have the boys over then it gives the parents a chance to do something which I’m sure they would appreciate.

My son's children.
Yes the prize is lost.

There's no point in saying anything.
I'm just going to pull back.
I can't do this anymore

I can sympathise a bit with this OP.

Stay in touch with them though, it's not your grandson's fault and they will know that you love them.

It's hard when you feel that you put all the effort in but get nothing in return.

How old are the Grandsons?

It sounds like there’s a pattern of behaviour or a back story here which is relevant as you’re talking about taking a step back. Do you want to talk about it? What’s your relationship with your son and DIL like? What was it like before they had the boys and how has it changed since? How often do you usually see them?

They lived with me for a while after the birth of their 1 at son.

They then moved and had a second son.

Like I would love to see more of them all, but it's the making plans and cancelling is hard.

Also found out the 2 of them are on a date night.
So it was obviously a lie about the kids been sick.

Why do you think they cancel? How old are the boys?

I've no idea why they cancel.
Boys are 4 and 3

Could you ask your son next time you see him. Mention that it’s hard as you look forward to seeing them and are happy to help. Explain how you feel?

What is your relationship like with your son and DIL generally?

I think mum mum and dad are likely to feel like you do (though I would never cancel a gift being given to me). However from my perspective I just find it hard to fit in time to see them around work and the children are very hard work whenever they are about.

I wonder if it might be worth telling them how you’re feeling, but also taking a bit of time to ask how they are and think about what they might have going on that might make it hard for them to spend as much time with you as you want.

Sorry that was meant to say “my mum and dad feel like that…”

We have a good relationship usually.
I don't interfere,give unsolicited advice.
I don't sit there for hours if I do go down.

My son is a bit like me,loves his own company.
But I think the next time I see them face to face I'll bring it up.