Need advice/tricks

[Mimi198]

Hi !
There is a guy at my gym that I find interesting, great chemistry, common hobbies....I feel ready for dating again, maybe a new relationship but dont want kids, I'm sure of it. I am wondering how to ask him about that question without sounding to obvious. I had to let go of someone in the past for that same reason and dont want to live that again. I want to be sure he does not want children before making a move. Do you have ideas ?

Repeat after me "Do you fancy grabbing a coffee sometime outside of the gym?"

You're setting the scene that you're interested. If he is, he'll say yes..either way he'll be flattered. Then on the coffee date, get to know each other and talk about your life plans and see if you align.

I have topical conversations about stuff that impact parents (school holidays, xmas, easter, etc.) and find out that way.

Just normal conversations with people I’m not dating, male or female.

Recent one has been about Halloween and wondering if we’ll get any trick or treaters this year. Then mentioning I’m glad I don’t have any children to drag out in the pouring rain, etc. and steered the conversation from there. This was with someone I’m Interested In and I’m just enjoying getting to know him a bit more with no pressure of dating.

I’m basically “reading” him to work out if there’s the right kind of interest in me whilst deciding if there’s enough common ground to pursue it to asking him for a coffee.

Sort of a “side door” in to finding out what you want to know.

You don’t have to be dating to get to know someone’s preferences, thoughts, opinions.

I know that’s a bit old fashioned and slow-paced but hey, I don’t care. It’s much kinder on the soul and emotions.

What has happened to just thinking about having a bit of fun now and worry about the job application part of a relationship later?

I had no strong feelings either way about kids before I met H, I was certain if they did happen it would entirely depend who with. So it's likely that Mr Gym might just not be able to answer that question for certainty right now.

There is no way of asking guy from gym whether he wants children or not without sounding very strange. Are you not getting ahead of yourself?

Thank you DatingDinosaur ! I think I Will take your advices!