I am just at the top of my limit with trying to salvage the relationship I have with my brother. He is so toxic to my mental health.
Short back story, he has always mocked, teased, emotionally bullied me. Even in our 20’s he would call me Bugs Bunny and make this funny face mocking me, like he used to do when I was in my early teens and had a gap in my two front teeth, no longer have but this was a huge insecure of mine growing up. He would do this in front of my partner at the time, while also bringing up my ex who I was with at the age of 16 in front of my partner at the time who I was in a long term relationship back then.
Anyway, fast forward the past few years, he lives hours away from all of us, his family, he has a really good job that pays really well but is so insanely jealous of me. For example, I’ve rented a house off my Mum before, didn’t have to pay much but paid £60 a week rent as well as all the bills. This was years ago, almost 10 years ago, he still says to this day that I get handouts off our Mum all the time, bearing in mind her nephew has been living in that house now for 4 years and doesn’t have to pay rent, just the utilities, my Mum makes nothing. Before the lockdown I had just become self-employed (bad timing) because I had to leave my job because it was not good for my mental health, I was working past midnight, working 10 hours + shift with no breaks and I was so emotionally drained as I also have a young daughter and I am a part time Law student, so during lockdown I wasn’t entitled to any benefits unfortunately, literally £0. My husband’s on a good wage but pretty much all of his salary goes on the mortgage, bills, loan, fuel, so we were in a pretty difficult situation at the time so my Mum thankfully bought us groceries every week for a few weeks, say £60 a week for around 6 weeks. Obviously in the eyes of my brother I am spoilt because of this and he is treated unfairly!
My Dad and his wife recently treated my Dad’s wife’s relatives and my daughter and I to a night away and a day at the zoo, I’ve had so much aggro for this it’s unbelievable! Again he isn’t treated fairly, although when my Dad and his wife go to see my brother and his family they offer to take them out for a meal etc. but they always refuse because they don’t like to go out of the house much!
There is so much more but basically I get all this aggro off him if I get anything that he doesn’t get, even the most petty minor things, but at the end of the day, I help out so much with my Dad and his wife’s business with the admin side, doing risk assessment’s etc. in my own time, for free obviously. As well as helping out cleaning for their business when they’re really stuck, yes they pay me but I help out between my own night shifts. And my mum, she has a holiday let which I clean for her, again she does pay me but it is less than what she would pay a cleaning company, and I drive over half an hour each way to do this, again between night shifts. And I just think my brother is an entitled, narcissistic bully and I just cannot be bothered wasting my energy talking to him anymore as he always has something to say to how I should live my life, like telling me to work more, save more if we struggle some times, bearing in mind I work 3 night shifts a week, part-time law student, a mother to a 4 year old and cleaning for either my Dad or my Mum, as well as being pregnant on top of all this!