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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship query

3 replies

NYLass1980 · 29/09/2022 14:32

I became friends with my boss over a 2 year period. 8 months ago I got promoted to the same job as her but in another dept.
We continued to keep in touch over messages and phone calls.
When she managed me she explained she doesn't add her staff on facebook which I understood however as her now peer and the fact we were so close I requested her as a friend. She ignored it. No explanation.
Months passed and about a month ago she started distancing from me.
I asked her if any reason and she denied it. We kept in touch but it got less.
Then a few weeks ago the Facebook thing came up in conversation and she said she doesn't mix work with Facebook. Yet I've just seen her add staff who have left her Dept, same as I have. These are people who she wasn't close to and have not supported her as I have done.
I'm feeling quite hurt that someone who frequently calls or has done on me for support doesn't consider me in the friend bracket.
Should I be hurt ?. There is clearly a reason as to the distancing and not wanting to add me. I'm so confused as her messages up until a month ago were very friendly.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 29/09/2022 14:34

Very odd. Perhaps she is irritated that she is no longer higher up the hierarchy than you?

ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp · 29/09/2022 23:52

Well it's time for you to take charge.

Redefine your relationship with her as purely professional. No grudges. No more expectations of FB friends etc.

Be friendly, professional, warm, open but nothing more than that. Do not expect anything or be open to anything more than a professional level. That goes for everyone you meet at work.

If there are any queries as to your professional attitude to relationships, ask exactly to what they are referring. That way you are ensuring there is no blurring between friendship and work place relationships.

GreyCarpet · 30/09/2022 06:18

Friendships change and come and go. If it has changed for her, respect that. It doesn't matter what her reasons are.

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