Just that really. Three kids (9, 13, 15), two full-time jobs but my health (mild but now-chronic case of MS) means I'll have to go pt sooner or later. So financially relatively solid, but can't see how I'd finance a separate home without committing to working more than is good for me long-term.
My not-so-darling h is very close to the kids, the oldest especially, and very good at monopolizing their attention if he wants to. He uses needling methods to undermine me in front of them, until I get angry, which he then uses to undermine me further.
I've put up with things over the last decade because I couldn't see how to disentangle our lives without the children ending up in a tug-of-war in the middle. I still don't see how I could stop him from manipulating them into rejecting me. It's like he's got them hostage.
His strengths are his disregard for the truth and a very sharp grasp of where his advantage lies. It's not like he's got oodles of tact but somehow he always seems to know what to say or do to make himself look good to them. He's definitely more fun than me.
I just don't want to be part of his campaign of self-aggrandisement any more. I'm exhausted. I want to protect the kids, I don't want to disappoint them, but I can't stay in a situation that drains me of self-respect.
Btw we're not in the UK (EU country) so will have to establish the legal niceties of the situation locally.
How would you go about this? Thanks for any advice you may have.