My ex keeps Wanting to rehash our relationship

[millebill]

i broke up with my ex a few months ago, he said something that hurt me very much and it crossed the line. I told him at the time how it made me feel, he didn’t apologise so I told him I was done.
I miss him terribly and still love him but he refuses to take any responsibility for what he said. Anyway we share a child and we get on well for her. But there has been a good few occasions when he has just poured his heart out, long long messages about what I did to him. The last message he told me I left him for dead.
I have tried to talk to him about this in how we can move forward but he told me it’s not the right time . I don’t really understand if he doesn’t want to move forward and repair the relationship why he keeps pulling me into these emotionally charged text wars

Tell him via text you disagree with his interpretation of events and don't wish to discuss it further you just wish to coparent amicably for the sake of the child and drop the rope he is setting up a victim status you being the bad guy you clearly have feelings and will chase him to make sure he is OK try to talk to him etc this will boost his ego you need to stop

I do feel like I have been chasing him a bit. But I do want us to get back together, he says he won’t do things on my timing. So instead we’re just going round in circles about his feelings, and he will mention all the things he thinks that are wrong with me

Getting back together with him sounds like it would be a huge mistake.

Beware the man who takes no responsibility for his actions. Why do you want to get back with him?

All your communications are about him and how you have made him feel ... but this was started by his behaviour towards you. Have a think about that.

He won't do things on your timing - it all has to be his way. Have a think about that. If you get back with him he will punish you all the more because he's 'won'. Do you really want that?

He is making sure you are suitably sorry and grovelling to him before he takes you back, then he will punish you forever. He’s playing a long game where you end up in the wrong and he’s your victim. If you keep chasing him he will grind you down eventually so that you no longer have any boundaries and he can say whatever horrible things he likes. Why are you chasing someone who isn’t even sorry they hurt you? He is not a good person

Your worth more than him he knows it and is dragging you down to his level

Hell no! He hasn’t considered how his words hurt you deeply or acknowledged he is sorry for that. It’s all about him and how he feels. He hasn’t for one second thought of you. I wouldn’t be getting back together with him because it will always be about him and your needs or emotions will never be considered

Why are you even considering getting back together with him? He is showing you how much consideration he has for your feelings. Take that on board. It is all about him and his feelings. If hr needs to process how he feels, he can do it with a friend or better still, a therapist. Dealing with your own feelings is hard enough without him landing his crap on you.

I would pick a set phrase, something like "I don't think this conversation is useful for us", something shutting down the conversation, and then wheel it out every time he goes down that path. No response to him other than the sentence. Because it really isn't doing either of you any good.

If he said something that crossed a line and still isn’t taking responsibility, why do you want him back?

I think you’re just having a post-break-up panic. Clearly you wanted to split, nothing has changed, he sounds exhausting, so remember why you dumped him and move on.