Friends keep excluding me

[Kirstenwe456]

I’ve had a certain small group of work friends since April 2021. Since then there have been a couple of new ones. However every time they plan a party or even a lunch out, I’m never invited. I’m the only person who has never been out with them (even random work colleagues get invited out) but the dominant friend keeps calling me her ‘bestie’ 🙄. We planned to have a lunch out in March but she cancelled last minute. There’s definitely a hidden divide there.

If it’s nothing more than a work colleague relationship I don’t mind but I hate all the fake ‘bestie’ crap. I’m wondering if I should try to slowly break away from them.

You're never invited to parties or lunches!? They aren't your friends. Definitely find new ones.

They aren’t your friends. Stop trying and chasing, let them come to you. Don’t announce it or act out in any way, just pull yourself back.

Also make friends with other people. Put your energy elsewhere. Make no mention of that either.

I don’t think you are her bestie. Do you find that she’s maybe relying on you at work?

I would say either she is using you because she needs your help to do her job, or she is a jealous controlling type who does want to be your best friend but doesn’t want you to be close to the others.

Time for a slow fade while you take time to build your connections with other work colleagues

The fact that she calls you Bestie is enough for a ghosting in my book.

But yeah, they are not your friends. Stop reaching out and keep it to bare minimum civility.

I’d call her out next time she calls you her bestie… “yeah a bestie who is never invited “ and roll your eyes

I agree with others not a real friend and I wouldn’t help this person much at work anymore… the bare minimum

I think there is a certain type of person whose main MO is to pick someone to exclude - they get some kind of power/rush/supply from it, and it sounds like your 'dominant' one may be one of those. Then there is the manipulative twist of calling you her bestie! She may suddenly swap the person she does this too.

It sounds horrible OP. Now you've seen it, I would definitely just keep it strictly professional with at least the dominant one. Observe for a while. Hopefully, in time a new work group will emerge.

They are not your friends. Just accept it and say 'sorry I am not free' if any invites come.

Sorry they sound like twats. Anyone using the term 'besties' is a twat anyway.

I’ve had a certain small group of work friends

No, you haven't. Why do you think they're your friends?

Just ignore them. Ignore her calling you her bestie. Be an adult. Stop concerning yourself with these children. Find something else to do.

They are just work colleagues, keep them at a distance and don't engage in the 'bestie' rubbish, just laugh it off.

Keep it polite at work nothing more. They not your friends op.

Not friends if the exclude you ditch them and find real work friends