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Original poster

Not interested after date

18 replies

Sweethomey · 28/09/2022 19:15

How do I let him know? Wait until he Messages? Or send a proactive msg and say sorry no park tonight? Our date was last night. We didn’t make any plans to meet again so don’t want to jump the gun.

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 28/09/2022 19:19

If you both didn’t make plans to meet again perhaps he feels the same so no I wouldn’t send a message unless he messaged first

Original poster
Sweethomey · 28/09/2022 19:21

He asked me to let him know I got home safely which I do and we joked a little then no messages since then today

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 28/09/2022 19:23

Don't ghost. It's unkind. A polite message saying it was lovely to meet him but you don't see it being quite right for you, and wishing him well in dating is absolutely fine. It's also v mature.

SpinningFloppa · 28/09/2022 19:25

YukoandHiro · 28/09/2022 19:23

Don't ghost. It's unkind. A polite message saying it was lovely to meet him but you don't see it being quite right for you, and wishing him well in dating is absolutely fine. It's also v mature.

It’s not ghosting if both don’t contact

scrufffy · 28/09/2022 19:27

I would send a polite "you're not for me".

Original poster
Sweethomey · 28/09/2022 19:28

I'm quite anxious tho, very stressed in life at the mo, so that's why I thought maybe I should send a msg tonight...and be done with it. Otherwise I may stress about whether he messages tomorrow, weekend, next week etc.

OP posts:
cherrysthename · 28/09/2022 19:31

You're overthinking. Send him a polite message if he does. But don't just jump in first to tell him he's dumped 😂

SpinningFloppa · 28/09/2022 19:39

If you do be prepared for him to say “well I wasn’t interested in you anyway”
as he hasn’t actually asked
to meet again, it’s not ghosting...

sunlovingcriminal · 28/09/2022 19:42

I've been in your shoes! Dating is just a numbers game! A short- "I really enjoyed meeting you last night, but I didn't feel the spark. Wishing you the very best with your dating" type message will suffice!

Cakeycrumbz · 28/09/2022 19:52

Trouble with how we meet people now is we build up an idea based on filtered photos and oine chat. Then we see the real them and its not the same person.

I would wait and if he contacts you again just say you are a lovely guy but I just don't know where I'm standing right now so I think it's best I don't waste your time.

fedup078 · 28/09/2022 19:59

Don't contact him unless he contacts you
I had many dates where it was obvious neither of us liked each other and there was no contact afterwards
If any of them had messaged me to confirm that I'd have been really pissed off

Original poster
Sweethomey · 28/09/2022 20:15

fedup078 I am not sure - he asked me to let him know I returned home safely and we had a bit of a joke and I wished him good luck getting up so early for a work meeting which he liked this morning.

The reason why I am not interested is because I don't think he is interested. Otherwise I may have given it another go. But I don't think it is there.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 28/09/2022 22:27

'Thanks for the date, good luck in the future'?

Betternottoask · 28/09/2022 22:35

So you are interested but want to preempt him either ghosting or 'dumping' you. I can understand your insecurity but give it a day or two. As you've said, he had an early meeting, could have been busy all day, had late meeting,be exhausted. As soon as you tell him you're not interested, he going to save face and say the same, not beg you to change your mind. If he texts, show some interest without going overboard. It is also allowed for you to text him first, maybe ask him how his meeting went. If he doesn't reply, then you know where you stand but don't cut your nose off to spite your face less than 24 hours after the first date ended

nuttynotty · 28/09/2022 22:43

A odd idea to text that you don't want to see them again, when you do want to see them again.

Is OLD for you?
I'm quite sensitive and I find the bear pit of OLD too much.

It was fun in the beginning when I didn't realise the men I'd met was as good as it gets and I just wasn't interested in any of them, but I still felt my emotions were a rollercoaster dating guys I didn't like.

It's ok to take a break from it if you're not in a good place at the moment.

pawkins · 28/09/2022 22:48

Just sleep on it. He may never contact you again. Or he may contact you and say he'd like to meet again. Its ok not to be 'first' to contact/disengage. You may meet again and decide that you aren't into him. But let things happen organically.......

Musti · 29/09/2022 02:46

If you liked him a bit but felt he wasn’t interested then just wait until he contacts you. No point saying there is no spark if you liked him!

GreyCarpet · 29/09/2022 06:55

In this scenario, I would just leave it. If he'd messaged to ask to see you again and you didn't reply, that would be ghosting and rude.

No more messages being exchanged is just that.

If neither of you enquires about another date, then no one has ghosted anyone. It has just fizzled out.

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