Been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. At the start he was overly keen. Always made time for me and he was the one doing the chasing - said I love you first. I had my guard up as wasn’t too sure he was love bombing me, but his actions always followed his words. I slowly let him in and he was great up till week before holiday.
We live 40 mins drive from each other and busy jobs, where we both work long hours. I can work flexibility and adjust my hours which I do. Him not so much flexibility. But we made it work and saw each other 3 times a week or more. He would stay over on consecutive days etc. I have a busy social life which I don’t want to lose, where he doesn’t. He makes little plans with friends except football.
I live in a small 1 bedroom flat in the city, him in a 2 bedroom large house in the country. His house is better to chill in, but less options for food and going out. He has the choice to work in an office in my city and used to do that when we planned to met during the week.
Recently he is making less effort. We are now down to seeing each other 1/2 times a week, but he has cancelled plans during the week last minute stating too busy. His texts are less frequent and more business like - not asking how I am and how my day is. But he always tells me about his stressful day. . Although always on Facebook. He can go hours in the evening without replying. I have called him, but he is not a big chatter on the phone. He is always on his phone when with me playing a game. He assumes we will spend every week together unless we have plans. So no forward planning.
He has started a big work project and is getting stressed and tired. This is why there is a reduction in seeing each other. I get life gets busy, but I am under the same stress and can still make plans.
this evening he was suppose to come to mine as arranged to work in my city. Now said I am best coming to his as he is too busy to travel as working till 6pm. That’s my normal finish time, so I now am expected to travel to him. This has annoyed me as I have basically read it as saying he is too busy to make time to see me. He will be available if I travel to him.
I asked him a few weeks if everything was ok with us. He said he misses me and loves me, just really busy with work and stress. Asked him what can I do to support and he said just be there. Work Does seem to be his life and it’s not healthy. He does lots of on call when he doesn’t need too and works when he is finished.
how do I approach this again without sounding needy? I know life gets in the way and the excitement of the start of a new relationship dies down. Or is this a slow fade? Past anxieties of previous relationships playing in here.
I am not happy and nearly ready to walk. But out time together is good. my gut says it’s his stress, but my head says get out. They normally match. It’s just the lack of communication and expectations that I will travel when apart that is annoying me.