I have been with my husband for 20+ years, married for 13. For many years now i've tried to talk to him about his behaviour many, many times, things change for a short time but then go backwards. He is uncaring and selfish toward me & kids, he is loving and I believe he loves me & kids more than anything, does nothing around the home and over the last few years has not contributed enough financially which has now impacted badly on my credit (to the point I will not be able to rent a property alone). In the past (a lot recently) when we have spoken about separating he has an issue with being the one to leave the home even though I am the main carer for our children (i work flexi, take & pick up the children from schl, have them during holidays, do everything for them). To save on the arguing I have told him I will find another place to live (don't know how with my financial situation), I have suggested to him that for the sake of the children and what makes sense if for him to leave but he doesn't see why he should leave when i'm the one splitting us up (even though his behaviour is the reason). The only good thing is that I feel like a wight has been lifted and even though I am not interested in meeting some else in the near future the thought of meeting someone and being cared for is nice. Even though I am feeling this I'm still unsure if I should leave as it well be awful for our children, I know he will turn nasty as he is hurt and also again my finance situation, I will require a new home and everything that comes along with it. I would like to know if anyone has been in the same situation and successfully moved on. I do love him and we should be a happy family as other than the lack of caring we have everything.