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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Pregnant & infidelity

2 replies

firecracker85 · 26/09/2022 16:07

Hi, I’m 6 months pregnant.

Found out my partner was cheating about a month before found out I was pregnant. After A LOT of deliberation, I decided to keep my baby. My partner always wanted the baby and we have stayed together.

Last couple of weeks I get the feeling he’s cheating again.

Even if he isn’t, the trust has clearly gone.

I can move back to my parents, they would be happy to have me and the baby though they are in their mid 70s now and Dad has been poorly.

Part of me wants to see out the last few months with my partner. He has been very supportive and he will help me through this last bit and the birth. Then maybe I could leave after that.

I don’t know what’s best to do. Either go now or be supported through the rest of the pregnancy and birth.

Yes, he could still support me if I moved to my parents but it’s not really the same.

he has no idea I am feeling this way.

OP posts:
AlwaysFoldingWashing · 26/09/2022 16:12

firecracker85 · 26/09/2022 16:07

Hi, I’m 6 months pregnant.

Found out my partner was cheating about a month before found out I was pregnant. After A LOT of deliberation, I decided to keep my baby. My partner always wanted the baby and we have stayed together.

Last couple of weeks I get the feeling he’s cheating again.

Even if he isn’t, the trust has clearly gone.

I can move back to my parents, they would be happy to have me and the baby though they are in their mid 70s now and Dad has been poorly.

Part of me wants to see out the last few months with my partner. He has been very supportive and he will help me through this last bit and the birth. Then maybe I could leave after that.

I don’t know what’s best to do. Either go now or be supported through the rest of the pregnancy and birth.

Yes, he could still support me if I moved to my parents but it’s not really the same.

he has no idea I am feeling this way.

Sorry you're in this situation, bad enough it's happened at all but even worse during what should be one of your happiest times.

I'd ask him outright about the cheating and take it from there. Could always be a misunderstanding so think it's best to have a definite answer m if you are confident you would know he is lying to you...

If it was me and I thought beyond all doubt that he had cheated then I would definitely be leaving now. If you stay until after the birth, there's every chance you'll end up staying for good and he will see that as you being willing to endure his cheating, IMO.

Really sorry this has happened to you and hope it's just a misunderstanding. Best of luck with the baby

stickynoter · 26/09/2022 16:18

I'd talk to him about it OP, tell him what's making you feel this way and see what he says. If you can't have this conversation after he cheated a matter of months ago it's already over IMO

Plus, I don't mean to panic you when you're already going through so much but there will never be a good time to leave. If you think you need support in pregnancy it's nothing like the support you need when the baby is born. It will be even harder to leave then and you'll end up deciding to leave when the baby is older and less full on

I honestly think being in a relationship where you think your partner is constantly cheating will be worse for your MH than being single and living with your parents

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