Never Ending Problems - Dating after 40

[Nettl]

I’ve had the usual problems with OLD (sex pests, ghosting etc). I’ve met a few people, had a couple of flings that fizzled out and finally met a guy that I liked and was suitable, nice, good job, no young kids. I decided to wait to dtd as I thought the relationship had legs. After a few goes it appears that he can’t maintain an erection, I am just so disappointed. Not just because of the lack of sex but because it makes me feel unattractive and is denting my self esteem. I just feeling like calling it quits and giving up on the hope of finding a fulfilling relationship. How long is it worth pursuing OLD for?

I am male so I hope you don't mind me commenting here.

Very sorry to hear of your troubles after things going so well so far.

If your partner is open to talking about it can I suggest you do encourage him to see the doctor? This can be a sign of heart disease so it can be the first warning to deal with something more serious. That said nothing says you have to continue a relationship. Really not my business to be so personal but for what it is worth if you do connect well in touch and you have a great time with hands and mouth, afterwards might be a better time to talk about the softness thing? It can be mortifying head on. To back off form coronary vascular disease talking about what you like about each other and kissing without hurry might build a basis for a sexual chemistry if that is what is needed. Just a thought.

The JImmy Carr joke was nasty not funny - maybe shutting down a heckler?

Nerves is likely. It can be overcome.

Porn also possible.

I’m (well) over 40, this happens to me sometimes now,
if someone said they didnt want a relationship with me because blood won’t stay in my penis I’d be quite pleased about that really, maybe I could find someone who is not so concerned about that

( maybe I’d buy some viagra as well, just for a friend you understand )