Help, husband checking out of family Life.

[immie326]

I have Name changed for this,

We have 2 young children (4 and 1)

Husband changed jobs at start of the year, and is now a police officer.

I went back to work part time in March after maternity leave and my eldest has also just started reception.

Husband is checking out of family life and our relationship, I can't hardly get a conversation out of him.

I also feel resentful because his job change means, I'm stuck in my job because of childcare, he also leaves all the housework and logistics are down to me.

I don't look at him any more and think I love him.

He hardly showers, spends most of his time he is here on his phone and and has stopped walking the dog (which I have now had to add on my list)

I don't know what to do? Help!

You do know what to do.

What is he said when you've discussed this with him?

*has

Not a lot, just says he is stressed.

I'd tell him that he is stealing 50% of the freedom from you.

And that you'd be better off splitting up so that you too could enjoy some freedom.

💐💐

Have you written about him before? It seems very familiar. At first I thought his attentions were elsewhere, but if he's not washing he won't get very far with someone new.

I would have thought he'd be pulled up pretty quickly if his manager realised he wasn't washing.

If he's checked out, maybe it's time to think of a life without him, OP. How would you feel if you lived separately?

@ICanHideButICantRun yes I have.

I suffer with anxiety and depression, and i am scared to leave due to my own anxiety, and I have no where to go.

So he wasn't like this before? Maybe he's genuinely unwell and ill with stress and/or depression. If you're not going to leave you need to have a very frank conversation about how this not sustainable and you can't cope. Maybe he needs to find another career.

Do you think he might be depressed @immie326 ?
You need to talk to him. Try to avoid blaming or accusing him, but say that you're worried about him & he seems to have changed. Jobs like the police & prison service are extremely stressful & can make people question themselves & perhaps your husband is struggling with this new role. He might be thinking he has made a mistake in changing jobs, but isn't sure how to tell you verbally. His behaviour is communicating that something is wrong.

Sorry should have put more than what I did in my OP, he is depressed and has admitted he is, but says because of his job he won't do any thing about it.

(I'm on medication for mine and am getting better)

I can't imagine being intimate with him anymore,
I just feel resentful atm.

But is his depression because of his new job ?

Have you asked him this?

Sounds like whilst you are getting help and feeling better, he isn't and going down hill, much to your resentment. Marriage is about giving at times when you least feel like it.

Dig deep and communicate instead of feeling resentful boot is on other foot and he isn't being as supportive to you or family as you would like.

Why is walking family dog just his responsibility? All go together fgs.

You seem to be totally lacking in any empathy IMHO.