I am going to try and explain this all without being too outing.
My partner NEVER communicates. This is something I have pulled up time and time again in our 4 yr relationship. We have gone to counselling. Sometimes he has a week where he may try and then it all goes dead pan again.
Recently i've been finding life unbearable. It all started after my parents went through a nasty toxic split, then the traumatic birth of our first child, followed by a traumatic car crash, a loss and now a parent seriously sick. Meanwhile me and dps relationship suffered and we went from being engaged to not, with me moving out quickly with dc (again all traumatic). This has all happened in the space of 1/2 yrs. It isnt even the full picture but you get the idea. Life has been like a domino effect and now after the most recent episode (hospitalised parent) I feel completely sapped. I have been suffering with awful anxiety all night and lack of motivation during the day. The mum guilt is real as I suspect I am becoming depressed and cant even will myself to be as engaged with dc anymore.
Every morning I wake up and dont want to get out of bed. Im exhausted thanks to the anxiety the night before. I stay in my pjs as I just can't find the will to get ready. Dc is 1 and I end up having dc in pjs till 11/12 with me sometimes. I used to get out every day for dcs sake but now I've been having more days spent indoors. I am constantly zoning out/ dissociating. I struggle every day. To clean/wash up ect every thing feels like extra effort and I feel at my wits end with it all. Thing is my partner has noticed this and nags at me about how I dont want to do the cleaning anymore so he has to. Or he remarks on my waking up time, or the fact that I'm still not dressed. I feel like in his eyes I am becoming lazy and I guess in a way I feel like that I am and I feel so bad for it. But I am finding it all so hard. Dp knows about my anxiety attacks at night and yet still thinks my late wake ups are because I simply need a "schedule". He shows little empathy or understanding. Dont get me wrong he is great if he see's me literally hyperventilating from an attack and helps me to calm down but its the aftermath I think he is lacking in understanding or caring to consider.
Sometimes I think is it even worth explaining and I also am angry at the fact that I have so much on my plate and it is clearly weighing me down yet he fails to check up on me. Just a simple "how are you feeling/doing with x" would suffice. But like with everything in our relationship that holds substance he never addresses or communicates about it. Practically he is good but emotionally he is awful and he is aware about it yet does nothing.
So how do I tell him I am not coping. Or do I even bother