Do narcissists or "wandering eyes" ever change?

[bathbofyand]

They have a reputation for sleeping around.
They openly admit to loving attention
Texts multiple women and plays them off against each other to make each other jealous
Takes great pleasure in hurting them
Takes mdma and other drugs to feel good about themselves.
Says things then flips it and pretends you imagined them saying it.
Makes you jealous and provokes a reaction and then calls you out for your reaction and doesn't take into consideration what they did in first place.

If this person is approaching 40 and says they are changing their ways
Do they change ?
If this is what they've done for all those years?
Will they be happy with just one woman forever ?

No they do not. They cannot change as they do not recognise they have a problem and believe everyone else is the problem. They do not want to believe there is something wrong with them and will deny there is anything wrong.
The only way they can change is if they themselves realise or admit they have a problem and actually want to get help through therapy and other sources but unfortunately that does not usually change who they are, they are just taught strategies to help them deal with their actions and make them more aware of what they are doing and how it is affecting other people as far as I’m aware.

Why would you bother trying to find out? What would attract you to such a person?

Probably not.

Sounds like love-bombing/appealing to your desire to be the 'one that changed them'.

They don't sound like a great catch - don't sell yourself short.

In a word, no.

People actually diagnosed with NPD cannot change. It’s part of their personality.

But if someone’s simply been an immature manipulative twat, they can change, the question is whether they choose to or not.

Honestly though in this case you’ve already been putting ups with it, so they have no reason to change. The best way forward is to walk away and say go work on yourself and when you are done becoming a decent sort, then look me up, but no promises as I’m not waiting around.

They haven't been diagnosed as they think this is "normal" behaviour

No. They never do. People don't change, they can adapt behaviour but that takes them realising that they are doing something wrong first. Narcs don't. Trust me, I was with one, 13 years later he's still doing the same thing.

No, they don’t.

Follow mentalhealnesss on Instagram (three s’ at the end that’s not a typo). He is diagnosed NPD and posts videos showing narcissism and how it presents. He has been in therapy for a long time and likely will be forever. It’s very insightful.

No.

Did you genuinely just type out that list of appalling behaviours, line by line, only to ask if it's worth you hanging on for a little longer just in case?!?!

I despair.

No they don't change. Sounds a bit like my exh, and I would say run a mile and don't look back if it's him.

Is this about someone you want a relationship with?!

Why, on earth, would you spend a second of your time on this person. What value would it bring your life?

Absolutely not. I was married to one. I think he's probably stopped now though as OW does not let him out of her sight and she tracks his every movement. Sod living like that to keep a cheat from cheating 🤷🏻‍♀️. They are horrendous people and I'd run a mile.

This was my reaction too, tbh.

Why would you even consider him?

No one else has been able to change him and I'm sure there are many who believed they could and have tried! What makes you so different?

No

How many red flags do you want op?

No they don't change.
They are like addicts who don't think their behaviour has any consequence because they are only interested in how they feel and their needs.

They are incredibly good at bullshitting too, which is why we all fall for it and it's hard to believe how toxic they really are.

No!. No!
Run. A good friend of mine spent this summer involved with a man who displayed all the traits you listed OP, seasoned with a few more. Compulsive liar, penniless drifter, no real attachments.

He dumped her earlier this month. Telling her he's happy to have a friends with benefits relationship now, so he can sleep with whoever he wants.

One of his reasons to end things. Get this, She couldn't handle the amount of female attention he receives (his words) which made life 'tedious' as it triggered her insecurities..
he is irresistible to all women and Tinder shows him that. (Again, his opinion and yes he told her that. Deluded twat).

Disgusting human. I posted about him back in June as was uber concerned for her. Oh and his backstory. So called professional drifting from short term let to short term let. Mmmm

Tinder is a narcissists dream! No context.

He's almost destroyed her. She fell for the love bombing see and is struggling to marry up the man she thought he was with his horrible actions.

This sounds like my ex husband and it took me a years of pain and unhappiness to realise he would never change.

You have said it yourself. He thinks it's normal. Why would he change if he thinks his behaviour is normal ?
I had an ex just like this, years ago. Last time I heard he is still single, shagging multiple women, behaving very much like this. He's 57!!
He's not for changing,

Who cares? No one in their right mind could consider overlooking this type of past behaviour surely? Why on earth would any woman who knows this about a man is think he is deserving of her time and his chance 'to be happy with one woman'? And why would any woman want to enter such a high risk situation? I can only assume its for the 'challenge' and feeling that you're so special he changed for you when he wouldn't for your predecessors.
Maybe he can change (though doubtful) but by rights he shouldn't be given the chance. You don't just get to leave a trail of destruction behind you than ride off into the sunset when you decide to mend your ways.