Online date, would this annoy you?

[Birdyfriend]

Went on first online date in a good while yday, it went well and we spent a good few hours in each other’s company. Had drinks and then wandered for a while trying to find another place. We were probably tipsy and I noticed he had a habit of saying “careful” when we were buy traffic (he’s a lot taller and felt like a nice protective gesture!) I liked it at first but he said it a couple of times, when we were crossing roads and stuff and it did make me feel a bit infantilised?! Am I overthinking?

Wonder if he says it to his mates?

Nope I wouldn’t like it. It’s an older generation thing. I’m In my 30s and my dad who’s in his 70s still does it to me. Makes me feel like a child. If a man did it I’d be saying somethings. It’s demeaning. It’s not romantic or cute in anyway.

My boyfriend does this, I remember the first couple of times I wondered what on earth he was doing. 18 months later and he stills walks the road side, puts his hand in front of me if he thinks I'm gonna cross without looking etc. He says it's just a protection/gentleman thing. I think it's sweet...but I do take the Mick out of him for it! It's become a little joke x

Oh dear ....

Can you elaborate, @ILoveDB ?

If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. If someone is doing something you don’t like, ask them to stop.

You're not overthinking it. There is a fine line between sweetly protective and infantalising. That will vary for woman to woman, so it's a bit difficult to get it right.

Unless you were so tipsy that you were acting like you couldn't make appropriate judgments, then I can understand why you'd find this irritating. I would give him another change, and this time make sure that you're sober and see if he's the same. If he does this a lot, expect to be told to be careful when you're doing other things, like chopping vegetables. For the ultimate test, drive him around and see how he reacts.

@Namechanged454 Glad you think it's sweet....because he's kind of treating you like a toddler. This is the type of things parents do with small children.

I would find that patronising and very annoying, I wouldn’t appreciation the implication that I’m not competent to cross roads.

But I’ve been single for a few years so maybe I’m too fussy 😆

Or when someone is much more pissed than they think

My husband does this occasionally. He used to be a primary teacher so think it's force of habit 😅