How the hell am I going to cope

[EmmaMarie18]

Briefly me and him are separating and selling our house

I'm struggling with us both being here while the house sells 😔 he lives up in the attic but as usual wakes the entire house this morning getting ready for work 🤬 he literally spends no time with our son either! I came home from a friends yesterday he basically said hello to our son before slithering off upstairs didn't even say goodnight to him 😡

He walks around the house whistling and singing and it feels like he's wanting me to react 😔 he's always been selfish and all about himself but even that seems to be worse lately too

It's so tense and miserable I don't know how the hell I'm going to stick this until the house sells

@jeaux90 he's left and back in his mothers

He's refusing to sign the sale agreement now so the house wont go on the market til he signs it

Then i found out last night that he slept with a girl in work on the night he went out back in july and didnt come home im devastated one thing after another 😔

Don't expect any help at all so if you get some its a bonus. Carry on decluttering and presenting it. Is he refusing that estate agent or selling in general?

It sounds like you need a solicitor as you have two legal problems. Keep them seperate so you are clear in your rights. You might even need two different solicitors.

1. Enquire how to legal enforce a sale of joint assets. If you have an agreement on % split and house price then a judge can it sign off. If you don't then you need a legal mediator.
2. Find out if you can refuse to let child be with anyone without supervision because of the sexual assaults

@Pixiedust1234 im just heart broken but maybe this is what I need and my hands been forced now anyway after years of hell and emotional abuse

The estate agents phoned me and said hes signed the agreement but didnt take ID which he knew he had to 🤯 its mind games! He said he wont be dropping his ID off now til the weekend or even next week

I just feel physically sick at the thought of him with someone else while me and his son were sat at home waiting for him to come home 🥹

Im speaking to my finacial advisor tomorrow and can prob see ill have to get a solicitor the guys an arse

He's got his older boy this evening and his boys mother has refused for him to stay at his mams cos of the situation with his brother on bail 🙈 he wont be happy but tough the kids come first

I'm sorry you are going through this

You need to start disengaging your feelings for him. Hes not a nice person but you can't do anything about so concentrate on things you can do. Solicitor, getting the house sorted, whats the minimum contact for your son. Concentrate on the practical not emotional side. Dont be drawn into the mind games if you can.

Grieve for the relationship you thought you had but not for the man. He did not exist except in your dreams but that doesn't mean you won't feel loss.

@Pixiedust1234 your absolutely right lovely

Ive been cleaning and sorting most the day ready for the pics to be done..as soon as thats sorted ill be having a mega de-clutter doing one room at a time

I contacted CMS today cos i know he wont pay anything towards our Son one step ahead I need to be! He pays his ex £25 a week and told her she's lucky she has tha 😳 I'm not giving him the opportunity to control tha either

Ive spoken to my financial advisor this evening to sort a mortgage in principle ready and im contacting a solicitor tomorrow to get a letter sent to him with what agreement i propose re house/property he can do one

It's actually lovely this evening no walking on egg shells no atmosphere even my little girl said its nice to come home without him here snapping at us all and the crappy atmosphere 100% the right thing to be doing

Well done, it's really hard to move on and part of that is letting yourself grieve, feel sad then mad!

Getting a solicitor and mortgage in place are big steps.

It's heartbreaking that your daughter pointed that out, but there is the motivation, right there. Setting her life expectations that we don't have to put up with this crap.

@jeaux90 bloody too right...my babies will keep me going!

Its all mind games with him 'forgetting' his passport for the estate agents he was tamping i took a mortgage statement to them this morning..job done lol! Just waiting for an appointment for photographs to be done now then the de-clutter and packing can begin 😊

I feel sad one minute then sooooo angry the next! Annoyed at how he made me feel like i was cracking up when all along he's a cheat 🤯

Onwards and upwards and my life will be 100% better without his sorry ass sucking the life out of me 🎉🎉

Can you set out times for him to be in charge of D.C.? This would surely help for access for your D.C. at a later date when living separately

glad the arse is gone.
Do your best to ignore his mind games.
If you can afford to, hire some help for a few hours to declutter and pack.

I hired some teens at around £10 per hour to help me half a day and it made a huge difference.

Now thats a good idea lol

Ive done most the cleaning now and at least itll stay clean with tha lump of lard gone! I hate him so much its unreal!

Ive just noticed mind the log book for my car that he bought me as a gift is gone..the cars in my name but hes made loads of threats to sell it as he bought it...honestly

Report him for theft!! Wonder if you can report it to DVLA as missing so it flags on some system somewhere.

Have you both sets of keys?

I would find out legally where you stand over the car and quick.

I would put a lock on your bedroom and store all personal items, paperwork, valuables in there as there is nothing to stop him walking back in the front door.

@RandomMess ive got one set of keys hes prob got the other set with the log book 🤯

Its all making me ill! He's said today now that im making it up that ive been told hes cheated just so he looks like the bad one 😳😳 couldnt make it up i swear!

Hes refused to give me my sons passport back too

Ive got a solicitors appointment tomorrow written everything down i need to ask ready she'll hopefully send him a letter then

He hasnt even asked how his son is my heart breaks for tha little boy 😔

oh no, I'm sorry. Unless you are the registered owner as well as keeper he can take the car. Are you both?

Good luck for tomorrow!

@Pixiedust1234 yeah im the registered owner/keeper pay the tax and insurance

He bought it last year as a gift for me put it in my name now he wants to sell it 🤯🤯🤯

Do you need the car? Can you afford a cheap run around? You quickly need to get the solicitor to sort your finances out. Get a separation date on paper with all your assets and liabilities. He takes the car to sell then cancel the insurance and tax. You are not there to fund him anymore

Car ownership is tricky. Think of it like a company car. You could be the registered keeper, pay the tax and insurance but you don't own it. Usually the person who can prove they paid for it is the owner. However it will be* *considered a marital asset.

I'm sorry...I've had another read of your posts and I cant see if you are married. I assumed so because of splitting the house. Ge this sort with your solicitor anyway.

I hope you can prove the car was a gift. He's an arse and it's the last bit of control he has shows how pathetic he really is.

@RandomMess I have a post on instagram
Where he's given it as a gift..I just dont trust him or what he'll do

I told him to face time our little boy tonight before I took him to bed he hasnt asked about him or spoke to him in days..i felt like his mother was sat there listening to the call thats how she is

Im happy for him to have him the weekend as long as he's with him..in the past he's had him and gone out on the pop leaving him with his mother..now his mother is defending a potential peadophile and allowing him to her home (her son) i think im justified in saying he needs to be there or my son doesnt go there if hes guna bugger off out

Im on my nerves