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Original poster

Boyfriends ex/baby mum won’t leave us alone

16 replies

Idkwtd1 · 23/09/2022 13:01

I need advice, my partner of nearly 3 years split from his child’s mum about 4-5 years ago, she is still obsessed with him and insists on ruining our relationship and his life, she constantly rings kicking off and goes on about him being with me and then sends me messages about him and making lies up to split us up, his mental health is so bad right now to the point where he can’t hack it anymore and I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
W00p · 23/09/2022 13:03

Sounds like an awful lot of hassle, hope he treats you well.

Pinkbonbon · 23/09/2022 13:42

Assuming they are lies (and he isn't actually pulling strings behind the scenes to play you off against eachother).

Is he actually worth all this hassle op? Relationships are meant to be happy and and joy to your life. Not stress. And running around after some man child with shit boundaries.

You obviously can't ever have kids with him (if that's something you want) either because that would tie you to the psycho ex for life. Plus a weak man that can't even handle his own business and let's other people do it...does not a good father make. Or partner for that matter.

I'd call it a day op. Women aren't rehab for damaged men. And that's what your life would be if you stay with him.

Drivebye · 23/09/2022 13:44

My bit of advice: don't get pregnant by him

Sideorderofchips · 23/09/2022 13:47

How old are you all

economicervix · 23/09/2022 19:44

If he hasn’t figured out by now how to handle his business, that’s on him.

Why choose a life with such hassle just to have a boyfriend?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 23/09/2022 19:50

Well I think you should block her for starters.

He should use text rather than calls and only respond to stuff about his DC. Block her on all social media.

girlmom21 · 23/09/2022 19:52

What was their coparenting relationship like before you got together?

How do you hear these lies she's making up?

JulesCobb · 23/09/2022 19:54

His version sounds so unlikely. She is obsessed with him after 5 years of him making it clear he isnt interested? I just cannot see it.

how much contact do you personally have with her?

do you want advice on what he should do or what you should do?

KentuckyDerbyandJoan · 23/09/2022 19:57

‘baby mum’ sheesh 🙄

JulesCobb · 23/09/2022 19:58

she is still obsessed with him what does she do to show this?

and insists on ruining our relationship and his life what does she do?

sends me messages about him and making lies up to split us up what lies? And how do you know it is lies?

GrazingSheep · 23/09/2022 19:58

You need to block her completely for a start.
How old is the child? Does he have contact and pay maintenance?

LuckyLil · 23/09/2022 20:10

You should be blocking her on everything and he should only be discussing his child and nothing else with her.

Iwantachange · 23/09/2022 20:13

I think it's highly unlikely that after 4-5 years of being broken up she is still hang up on him without him leading her on...

Cut your losses and move in, if things are toxic between them it's nit gonna get better.

limitededitionbarbie · 23/09/2022 20:23

Iwantachange · 23/09/2022 20:13

I think it's highly unlikely that after 4-5 years of being broken up she is still hang up on him without him leading her on...

Cut your losses and move in, if things are toxic between them it's nit gonna get better.

Agree. It's a long time for her to still be trying to meddle.

Julia234 · 23/09/2022 20:31

If he can’t put boundaries in then I can’t see a way out of it. If he has children, communicate via email and text only. If she starts being abusive, ignore. It really is as simple as that.

Indifference is the true indicator that somebody is over another person.

It May still be unpleasant when she starts trouble or lies, but if you stop giving it the attention she clearly wants, it is likely to stop.

Onlyfoolsandhorsesfan · 23/09/2022 20:42

I can believe this is true
my dp and his ex broke up (they have two kids) and as soon as he met his ex girlfriend,ex wife hit the roof
he broke up with the girlfriend,and met me
ex wife has tried and tried to break us up-screaming down the phone at me,endless lied,endless fb messages to my family (good luck other-I’m nc with them) bad mouthing me to everyone she can think of,screaming at me in the street,coming into my work to start screaming at me,phoning dps work endlessly-you name it,she’s done it
we blocked her number,went to the police (who where worse than useless-she was ringing us as we where talking to them-we where told to ignore her)

its been 8 years since they broke up and she STILL tries to start but we just ignore her-and if she starts getting too loud,we laugh at her (i know this sounds awful but her lies are funny)

only you can decide if your willing to put up with this-I just tell myself that ex wife as nothing-and I mean nothing in her life-no job,no dp of her own,no hobbies-nothing-she just lays in bed overthinking things until she can’t take it anymore and starts again

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