We broke up 6 weeks ago on the phone. I was in holiday, she was back home in the city we both live in . She’d been with me on holiday with her DC in a different house. 3 years into the relationship and I felt shut out and excluded, that we should have been together in one house. I really like her DC too and felt it was time to develop a relationship with them. Finding time for intimacy was impossible. I’m now realising that’s what made me emotionally unavailable. My emotional unavailability led her to end things with me. I hadn’t been making her happy for a while as my life has been crappy of late. V sick parents, work not going well, DD with ADHD. It wasn’t just the holiday. That was the final straw I guess. My lack of communication drove her away.
i Was angry and a bit relieved when she ended it. But mostly stunned. And in denial. Mostly because I couldn’t break down as I was away alone with my DD. Now after a few rounds of therapy I’m realising truths I really want to convey to her. And I’m depressed and sad and miss her horribly.
haven’t spoken once since the phone call (a FaceTime to be precise with my DD in the room). Friends telling me to move on. That she was controlling and self centred and it wasn’t a good fit . Others telling me to follow my heart. But I still love her and still think we can make this work. I know she still loves me too.
i also am ready to see her for closure, however painful that might be it feels better doing things face ti face to honour what we had. Mostly I want to know how she is and to see her. I have written an email but haven’t sent it. Should I? This is torture. So I’m putting it out to strangers! We are both women. She divorced her exDH very recently having left him 4 years ago. I’m a lone parent, always been openly gay.