”Their past is their past and none of your business”, does that work other way round also?

[CantAskAnyoneElse]

By these I mean about lack of experience.

Would you judge ”a late bloomer”?

So, I’ve never even been on a date and there is this guy, a friend of a friend who asked me oit, first I thought it was a joke (never been asked oit before) but I guess not.

But I’m beyond embarrassed by my situation and I just mumbled that maybe sometimes.

I just don’t know what to do!
People are kind of judgy about not having experience, right?
I’ve seen people even here say it’s a red flag.

Oh how exciting! How old are you? He obviously likes you to ask you out so that should be a confidence boost. I think it could be a red flag amongst other things... but so could someone who dates all the time! On it's own I don't think it matters. Go and have a good time! Make a joke of it... say you're super choosy so he should feel privileged 😉

Go and have a good time and try not to worry about it, you've shown some discretion that's all! It's not a bad thing.

I’m 29, like I said, embarrassing.

I think I’m too scared to go, but thank you for the support.
I’d be too nervous to have good time.
I promise, I’m not usually this negative, anxiety hit and hard.

The right person for you won't be judgy. Go and find out if he is. This isn't about showing up to see if he likes you; it's going to have a look at him, get to know him, and see if you like him.

He can not like you, if he wants. That's his gubbins. There's nothing wrong with you, and the preferences of someone you only meet once aren't really of any relevance to you or your self confidence. There are millions of people out there who might not like you (or me, or anybody) Who cares?

If you see him more than once, it'll be because you want to spend more time with him, not because you've 'done well' on the date. You can't do well or not do well. If you're nervous-you, you're you. If you're wibbly-you, you're you. If you're confident-you, you're you. If you're I-can't-speak-for-an-hour-you, you're you. Your future partner will like all of the versions, so if one of them shows up, he'll be happy to see her.

It's a funny thing. If two people really really like each other and have similar a sense of humour you can laugh your way through many, potentially uncomfortable situations.

If you really like him then go for it. It might not work but it could. Dont put so much pressure on yourself and take it step by step.

It's not embarrassing at all! I'm 32 with two kids... been on 1 date 7 yrs ago. Single again now and dating is terrifying... but it's so worth it. You have to fake confidence until you feel it. I do it at work all the time. So a job interview... I tell myself to enjoy the adrenalin- mind over matter. I say this as someone with diagnosed anxiety!

Honestly challenge yourself... go somewhere you know and meet at 8 for a drink so no food and not a super long night if you're not feeling it. You'll be so nervous you will want to cancel but push through... and then once you've been on the date you become the 29 yr old who has dated 😉

“Honestly challenge yourself... go somewhere you know and meet at 8 for a drink so no food and not a super long night if you're not feeling it. You'll be so nervous you will want to cancel but push through... and then once you've been on the date you become the 29 yr old who has dated 😉”

This with bells on, OP. The only way to change your situation is to change it, OP! Here’s an opportunity to do so. And once you’ve done this, you’ll realise it’s not such a big deal.

For various reasons, one of my best friends had occasionally dated but never had a boyfriend until she met a lovely man when she was in her mid-30s. They’ve now been very happily married for nearly 20 years.

Treat this as an adventure. Men worth bothering with won’t care; if they care, they’re not worth bothering with.

I literally do not care what someone's been up to sexually in their past so long as:

• it was all legal and consensual
• they are free of STIs
• they don't expect me to be into anything and everything

I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 27. Before that, was not really a dater as quite shy and not sure how to date, if that makes sense! Missed some nice opportunities with guys I quite liked, or even having an adventure.

No one should care about your past, if anyone asks you, just say you haven't had a serious relationship and move on to another topic. I'd say go for a drink with the guy, and see him as a potential new friend, that way it's not so scary and you can take things slowly. If you prefer, maybe a coffee on a Saturday afternoon, but you choose the where and how. Give it a go - like someone else said, you'll become the 29-year-old who has dated! 💐

Everyone has a first date.

The first one is always the hardest. The right person won't judge. They'll be supportive and caring - if you choose to even share this information.

Then every other date is never the first again in terms of dates.

But you may find the confidence to have lots of first dates with different people.

The one could be out there - anywhere.

Good luck

Are you going to go OP? I'm cheering you on!

OP, everyone has a first date and I hope you say yes to this one.

I've been in lots and lots of dates in my time. I was also "late to the party" being well into my 20s before I did. Not one single date asked me for dating history on a first date... and even past dating does come up, you can just tell the truth but not necessarily the whole truth, like "I've not been on a date in a long time",

So, @Cactuslove , I actually met my friend eho knows him and asked his number.
I haven’t decided yet what to do.

This whole thing has popped up a whole lot of insecurities, but I did ask my friend about him.
She told me his never been a ”player” type and is nice down to earth kind of a guy.

That put my mind at ease a bit (I’m really not a looker, I’ve lost some weight , but I’m still overweight and his definitely better looking than me. That’s why I thought he was joking when he asked).

Everyone has a first date. Everyone has another first date with each different person. Hes going to be as nervous as you, wondering if you are going to judge him. You speak about how you look in your last post but maybe he likes how you act, your humour and your basic likeable characteristics. If you are scared because of your weight then think how did women like Dawn French get such men to fall for her? A short dumpy thing. Heres a clue, she's a lovely warm funny confident and generous woman who doesn't look down on herself. Take a leaf out of her book.

Take a deep breathe and say you would love to go for a coffee, drink, film, walk and make a decision based on each meeting. Saying yes to a coffee doesn't mean anything other than a coffee

You go for it girl.

Nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. If he's judgy then he's a jerk and not for you, but plenty of people won't judge. And you don't necessarily need to talk about your dating history, or lack thereof, right off the bat.

Oh you are young still. I met my husband when he was 30 and he hadn’t really had a girlfriend, he had maybe a couple of dates before me. I was 34 and had only had three boyfriends previously. We were fine, we still are fine nearly twenty years later, we all start somewhere. Go for it. 🙂

Absolutely nothing whatsoever to be embarrassed about. Go, might be the best thing you ever do 😃