He's not speaking to me

[J055Y]

Hi

My OH has not spoken to me since I apparently rushed him when out shopping so that I could get to meet up with my girlfriends; accusing me of being selfish.

When I returned home from meeting my friends, he retreated to the spare bedroom and avoids me in the house. No arguments because I have not seen him!

I refuse to chase him...it's been 5 days now what should I do?

Throw him back and find a better one.

Back into the sea again

We've been together 30 years...easier said than done

Has he always behaved like this?

I really despise people who give the silent treatment

Carry on doing your own things and ignore.
Next time don't do anything with him before seeing your friends as it sounds like he's trying to delay you seeing them.
You've had 30 years with him, you've only got another 30 to go.

Sounds like a man child. Do your own thing and ignore him.

Oh my god my exs mum and partner where like this sitting in the dark ignoring eachother for days slamming doors! Leave him for a few days book a hotel make him shit it! If you’ve been together 30 years you won’t leave let’s be honest- but it’s toxic reacting this way ignoring eachother. I wish I’d of told my exes mum to just grow up be the bigger person and talk it out- or leave- sometimes you can’t change a persons ways!

I'd check in to a hotel,
A nice one.
It is abusive.

My mother does this. Normally I patch things up, saying look sorry for any bad feeling but I havent done that this time.
So it continues...

It sounds like he wants you to dump him. Let him get on with his man baby sulk. Men like this are pathetic. Do not under any circumstances apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong. Consider going away for a few days while you have a think about what you intend to do with him.

Yes , go on a nice break somewhere & definitely do not apologise OP x

I hope he doing his own meals and clearing his own mess. I am glad you are not chasing him. The silent treatment is horrible. Hold your nerve and train him out of it. His bad behaviour shouldn't get rewarded by you pampering to his ego. I hope this ends well for you.

This is awful! I've been with DH 20 years and we've never ignored each other. Does he do this frequently or is it a one off?

Does he usually find ways to punish you when you go out with friends? This sounds like either he's punishing you (if regular behaviour) or creating a crisis with you as villain because his heads been turned (if new behaviour).

Silent treatment is a form of abuse. I hope you haven’t had to deal with that for 30yrs.

5 days! What a bellend! Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong so hold your nerve. What a miserable git

My dad used to stonewall my mum. Sometimes he even did it to me and my brother when we were teenagers - it was awful. For weeks and weeks sometimes. Current boyfriend tried it once and I forced the issue - I said that I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a stonewaller and I didn’t care if we had to argue all night but we were getting it sorted before I went to sleep. He told me why I’d pissed him off, I agreed and apologised in this case, and it’s never happened since.

What childish behaviour and I bet it's just the tip of the iceberg.

Is he usually this pathetic?

Very childish and controlling. Does he always punish you for doing your own thing? If it's affordable/practical I would check into a hotel without saying a word to him. I couldn't live in such a bad atmosphere for that long. It will also annoy him that he won't know where you've gone. Pathetic behaviour.

My in-laws were like this, they often wouldn’t speak for 2 weeks after an argument, then neither would apologise, but would just start speaking again. Both DH and I prefer to make up quickly, we both say sorry for arguing and then we’re fine again as I find the longer you leave it to make up, the harder it is. Has he been in the spare room since, looks like there’s a stale mate going on.

Even after 30 years from your post I can see your marriage is a farce.
Honestly as scary as it seems, divorcing is better than this for another 30 years.

Well...since you rush him during shopping to meet up with your friends...maybe it's time for him to move on.

What do you usually do when he behaves like this?

-Accept that he can no longer speak to or hear you. Set up a message board so that you can write communications to each other. Behave as if this is normal.

-If it bothers you - go away for a few days.

(Laughing sounds appropriate - he is behaving like a toddler.)