Fucking families.

[ColinRobinsonsfamiliar]

My sister is a cunt.
She is a vicious, nasty, aggressive opinionated and has zero kind feelings towards any other human being.

Egg shells waiting for her vicious tongue and it can about something as innocuous as how much milk is in a cup of tea. (She thinks that any one who drinks tea is a stupid fucking sheep that just follows)
She has an opinion about everything, always negative, you have to hear it, doesn’t care who she offends or upsets. She actively does not give a tiny shit.

She has no one. Has been sacked from jobs, family members have nothing to do with her.

our mother needs major invasive surgery and after 2 single texts from this sister, she has started with the nastiness.
I’ve just removed her messages and I’m not going to engage.
Theres a 10 month waiting list for the surgery. My mother will need care and support afterwards.
Im fucking dreading it as it’s going to take us mucking in to help. DREADING IT.

How am I going to navigate this when the time comes?

The answer is of course to not have anything to do with the sister and just communicate with my mother when the time comes.

But what if the worst happens?

Oh dear OP that sounds hellish, I've lived with people like this and now avoid them as much as possible, it sounds like you are doing that to some extent. If your sister is toxic, her input with your Mum would be counter-productive anyway. Perhaps you can establish with other people or family that they will need to help after the operation. You will need help too, try role playing saying NO to her and go nc.

I will only interact with my mum.
I can text her each day I’m home, see what she needs.

Just completely disengage.

What or how do you think it is going to look when your mother needs support. Will your sister be part of the practical things? Can you delegate days each. Or tasks. So that there is no need to communicate. Leave a folder with all your mums info and a diary for notes or appointments. A kind of parallel parenting kind of thing? Or will she not be present at all but likely to send helpful texts. If so ignore all

Shopping, cleaning, making meals that kind of thing.
My sister says my mum is fat so won’t allow her to eat/buy foods she wants/likes so if in charge of meals, it’s going to be very very awful for my mother. (If she takes her shopping demands that she doesn’t go down the sweet or biscuit isles, shouts at her demanding to know why she has put certain things in her trolley.)

My mum tries her best to NOT go food shopping with her. I’m away with work so can’t take her regularly.

Will mum let you do an on line shop for her? I'm sure you have already suggested that though

I am convinced some people are born bad. I once knew a family of five. The parents were the best people you could ever meet - just everything that is good. Their first son was lovely - kind, gentlemanly, loyal to his (difficult) wife. Then they had a girl, who was also lovely. After that, they had two more girls, who looked like twins. One was an angel, the other a complete and utter cunt - zero empathy, spiteful, vicious, and so jealous she was almost insane. Then they had another girl who was also vile. She was so cruel to her own daughter, both physically and psychologically, that the girl will be scarred for life.

It’s a complete mystery to me. How on earth could such good people, who produced three wonderful children, also produce two monsters?

Unfortunately and sadly my sister has inherited every bad trait that my mother & father have. It’s like the pair of them pooled their badness into one child.
Both our parents are not nice people.

I left at 16 and have had little contact over the years because, well, they are just too difficult to have a relationship with.
Better now they are older… and divorced.

my siblings and I are probably damaged but I have a different personality and have chosen to be happy in life.