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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Catfishing attempt?

32 replies

BisonGrassVodka · 21/09/2022 11:24

Hi all, a month ago I was contacted by a woman on a dating site and we began chatting, after a week I asked her if she would like my number, yes agreed and was began chatting on Whatsapp. She tells me she's self employed and extremely busy, so there maybe several times a day when she has to concentrate, so would be quiet for a few hours, I was OK with this and thought nothing of it.

At the beginning of the third week I asked her if she had time for a coffee or a drink, she turned me down, citing work as being very busy, I told her I understood and left it at that. 2 days later, a message came through asking if I could get her a £50 Apple voucher to top her i-Phone up, this got me thinking that something fishy was afoot, I refused and told her that as we'd not spoken on the phone or even met, I was reluctant, I got the reply of, "well I though with us getting closer you would help me, but some people are just pure greed". If she has her own business, why does she have a PAYG phone and an i-Phone at that?

There has been a few more messages every day over the last few weeks and on Sunday gone, she asked me if I would like to meet up, I agreed and said it would have to be after the Queens funeral on Monday and the majority of places might be shut anyway, so I suggested Tuesday for dinner, she was happy with that and I made a booking at a Tapas restaurant. There was a several messages yesterday and it seemed like we were both looking forward to eventually meeting up. I sent her a message to tell her I was setting off and jumped in the car for the 1 hour drive and would meet her outside the Tapas bar. I got there and waited and waited for half an hour, my suspicions were tingling, so I called her, there was no answer, so I went back to my car. I was very disappointed and rather annoyed, so set off home, I'd only got a couple of miles when I got a message, I pull over to look at it and she said she'd made a mistake with an order and had to correct it before she could come and meet me, then she asked, "would you be willing to wait 2-3 hours so I can sort everything out and get to the Tapas bar", my reply was negative and told her I was more than half way home.

I heard nothing more until this morning, when a message came through, full of apology and sadness, I've not replied yet. However, I have gone through the conversations we've had, but apart from the request for an i-Phone voucher, nothing seems out of the ordinary. She's on Facebook, I've seen her website and the work she does and everything seems in order and very consistent and her photographs/video's she has displayed leave nothing suspicious. If she is trying to catfish me, she's going to be disappointed, I don't live hand to mouth, but I have enough to allow me to live for about 2 months if all my finances suddenly stopped, so I'm not the gullible rich man she may think I am.

What do you think?

OP posts:
HideousKinky · 21/09/2022 14:45

After the pure greed comment I'd have had no more contact with her

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 21/09/2022 14:50

Why do you need the catfisher bloke's details, you know she's a catfish so just block her.

And don't be so trusting in the future

Thethreecs · 21/09/2022 14:50

Glad you got it sorted. Tbh and I have said it to my kids over the years, only believe someone when you see their face and hear the words coming from their mouth. Anyone can pretend to be anyone, it's SO easy to set up fake profiles online and it's even easier to pretend to be whoever you want to be when texting /messaging.

losingit31 · 21/09/2022 14:53

Watch the love or money series on BBC iPlayer and you will know exactly what is going on.

StarCourt · 21/09/2022 14:55

I've been catfish Rd a few times and this has Catfish red flags all over it

stickynoter · 21/09/2022 16:34

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 21/09/2022 11:47

I would be tempted to fake a crisis and ask her for 50 quid....

I wouldn't give a guy I'd been chatting to but hadn't met IRL £50...that doesn't make me a catfish?!

BisonGrassVodka · 21/09/2022 17:16

Thank you JorisBonson.

I'll be in touch with him straight away.

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