Feeling Overwhelmed

[Newlyseparated2022]

I've had a few threads over the last few months after I discovered DP has been unfaithful.

The deceit alone probably would have been a deal breaker but his behaviour since has been incredibly manipulative. I felt completely boxed into a corner after he threatened suicide and we're now separated.

We've been living together since but I've been quietly looking and have been offered a rental property tonight. I can move in more or less straight away and it's a lovely house in a nice location. So why am I not happy about it? Why do I feel sorry for him? I don't know how or when to tell him. I feel terrible and so do overwhelmed right now.

Any words of advice please?

It is natural that you are grieving the loss of the relationship as moving from your home is a major step forward.
Congratulations on your lovely new home. I wish you every happiness there .

He manipulated you into feeling sorry for him, don’t believe it. Would you feel sorry for him when you’re being tested for STDs as a result of his filthy choices? Then no need for any sympathy for him. Actions have consequences: these are his natural consequences, he chose this. Tell him that with a smile, no need for a conversation, just ‘bye!’

Thickos like him follow a bog standard script, the suicides threats are just a cliche to try to control you. Pass the threats on to the emergency services. He can choose suicide if he wants, but needs corrected if he thinks he’ll be threatening anyone with it.

It's manipulation

He cheated on you. Yet he threatens suicide?

So you don't get to be angry for his fuck up. You have be afraid/concerned/putting his needs first.

Put yourself first. He fucked up. He doesn't get to make any more demands of you.