Separate rooms?

[Bossa09]

We’re both young 30 and under and have been sleeping in separate rooms /beds since late January.
It started because I was pregnant, up & down, dead legs, numb hips etc. However, it wasn’t my suggestion.
After DC was born, OH lasted his full paternity leave (just) in with us.
I’ve been on my own the full time, night feeds / early mornings.
Any time we’ve tried, he complains about the nightlight. Or some times he has managed an hour or 2 then goes back through.
Fed up, I said I can’t be arsed having to worry about waking him when checking on the baby so it’s fine.
Now we’re in a rut? I can’t see us being back in the same room. This isn’t normal is it???

I guess normal will be different for different people? I have a 3 week old and my husband is in our bedroom with us as he has 3 months off work. He has no rigid time frames/commitments e.g. Getting up for work, so he can help with the night waking. If he only had 2 weeks off then it's likely I'd have suggested he go in the spare room unless he felt comfortable to do otherwise. I suggested it the other day and he declined and said he wanted to be near us (military spouse who missed the whole pregnancy so that may have something to do with it)

It's normal for some couples. If your sleeping habits are incompatible in some way (lark and owl, snorer, whatever), then it can be the secret of a happy marriage. So long as it doesn't kill your sex life ... afaik helps to be awake for that so where each of you sleeps at night doesn't have to be particularly relevant.

The original plan was he was through there during the week when working & with us at the weekend. But that didn’t go to plan.
He works 8-5 and his job is demanding so I do understand needing a decent sleep. DC sleeps through almost every night now. I could deal with just weekends, I think it’s unfair and for me has an affect non affection / time spent.

My DH is in the other room. I cosleep with our 13 month old. Was tough until about 2 months ago when she finally slept through and I resented him a lot but we got through it. I’d do it again but be more firm about him doing his fair share of nights at weekends etc.

im a firm believer of doing whatever works for you and what gets everyone the most sleep in those early days.

It's more important right now to make sure you both get a good sleep - lying beside each other at night in the same bed doesn't signify a strong relationship.
There's nothing worse when you've both slept crap and then get naggy with each other esp with a baby.
Get into a nice routine, enjoy the seperate sleep, then slowly introduce moving back into the same room as each other when you're both ready.
As long as you've got a strong line of communication about how you both are, there shouldn't be many issues.
Who cares what is 'normal', it's what's right for your relationship and where it is right now.

We sleep in different rooms due to snoring and sleep patterns and it's saved our relationship