Partner liking other pictures

[Mumofboys86]

Now I know everyone looks at other people. And I’m not going to deny I’m an insecure person. But when your boyfriend constantly follows accounts of provocative women, models , and girls advertising their sex sites. Told him so many times how it makes me feel, I find it degrading and makes me feel like I’m not enough. Especially when we don’t live together and because of work etc we dont have sex often.
so I found out the other day he was on twitter which as far as I knew he wasn’t, so I went and had a look and found him following and liking the most degrading pictures of women, one had her vagina all on show . When I questioned him he made out that someone must of got into his twitter account as he hasn’t been on it since 2011 , despite seeing on his phone the other day he was getting twitter notifications . He literally Must think I was born yesterday. I actually wonder if he has some porn addiction . As iv explained to him he clearly doesn’t care for my feelings to keep doing something you know upsets someone you supposedly love. I just don’t get it , it’s not really just ‘liking’ pictures . He likes pics of girl mates etc and doesn’t bother me but I feel like I’m going crazy!!

The bigger problem is him lying. Denying he has a Twitter account, then denying he has been on Twitter liking the x-rated pictures.

We all have boundaries, and he is massively overstepping yours. Like you said, he keeps doing something that he knows upsets you.

Leave him. He's going to diminish your self-esteem.

I wouldn't be with someone like that.

OP - there is no solution to this. You aren't compatible.

For you - he is overstepping your boundary, and he is addicted to porn
For him - you are being irrational and controlling. There is no actual cheating, just looking on social media. And your low self esteem is on you, not on him.

As I said - there is no solution. These threads pop up on MN often. Most people think it’s OK to be upset at partner’s SM following and likes.
Personally I couldn’t care less. And I’d not be happy if my partner stalked my SM to check what I click on and what I follow.

This is something that he does. If it’s unacceptable to you, then end the relationship. There is no third way. He’s not going to stop doing it because you asked him to.

Yer I completely get that. But to lie about things and make you believe you’re seeing things . Why lie if it’s innocent 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I followed loads of muscly men and liking pictures and he confided in me that he struggles with himself I wouldn’t then carry on keep doing it because I got more respect for him than that.
don’t feel the need to perv over other people when I have a partner I’m attracted to. But I suppose everyone’s different .

Agree with all of this.

It’s sleazy and immature imo . No way I’d want to be with someone who feels the need to publically declare their attraction to social media soft porn women . We all notice attractive people we don’t all feel the need to run up and give them a little love heart sticker to congratulate them for pleasing our aesthetics.
some try to make a false equivalent that they themselves look at males one social media and like their photos but the way men and women are presented in social media is very different
I don’t see men with their butt cheeks out legs spread staring into the camera almost naked all over these sites
maybe some topless or muscle pics but that’s very different .
people are right though you can’t change a guy who does this and he will label you controlling . They don’t change because they see no issue with objectifying women
i wonder if he’d be ok with your pictures being out there for other men to like ( not showing your face ) Not suggesting you do that at all but it does expose their double standard when they try the ‘ it’s harmless fun card ‘ yet suddenly if it was ‘ their ‘ partner and other men doing exactly what they are doing it’s suddenly no longer ‘harmless fun’

I know I can’t change him and iv accepted the fact he’s not going to change , 2.5 years together and still hasn’t changed , only gets worse. It’s the fact I doubt myself and think am I just being stupid. It just makes you think if someone lies about that what else could they lie about. He doesn’t post anything about his own gf On social media but will publicly like things like that. But thank you for your comment.

I know I can’t change him and iv accepted the fact he’s not going to change , 2.5 years together and still hasn’t changed , only gets worse. It’s the fact I doubt myself and think am I just being stupid. It just makes you think if someone lies about that what else could they lie about. He doesn’t post anything about his own gf On social media but will publicly like things like that.

This man will just erode your self confidence more and more.

The pics he likes ate degrading and that should be enough to dump him, but you won't.

Would you like your sons to become this sort of man in the future?

You’re not being stupid. You get to decide what you require from your partner in a relationship. The fact that some of us wouldn’t care about this sort of thing isn’t relevant. You care.

However, he’s not going to behave in the way that you want. It’s simply not going to happen. So, you can continue to torture yourself about this, or you can break up with him and go find someone who doesn’t do things you consider unacceptable and then lie to you.

I did break up with him yesterday and no I wouldn’t want my Children to be like that . I’d like them to have more respect for women .

Leave him. He's going to diminish your self-esteem.

This!! Been there and yes it does diminish your self esteem - still trying to build mine back and it been over a year now

He has a porn addiction, which is almost impossible to get out of, and probably completely ingrained in him after many years.

Unless he wants to change for himself, he won't.

Well done on dumping the gross porn addict.

I went and had a look and found him following and liking the most degrading pictures of women, one had her vagina all on show

Well done for dumping this porn addict. Stay strong if he tries to get back. He’s never going to start respecting you.

It’s the fact I doubt myself and think am I just being stupid

What do you doubt about yourself? In what way do you think you're being stupid? It's worth getting to the bottom of this, in order that you take responsibility for yourself in the future, sooner than you have in this relationship.

Well done for leaving him. If it 'only got worse', it must have started ages ago. Learn to leave at that point, rather than waiting for improvement.

He sounds vile.

You did the right thing by dumping him.

Don't let him muscle his way back in, so block him on everything.

He puts his desire to look at other women's tits higher than your desire to feel happy and comfortable in your relationship.

You deserve better.

@Watchkeys i just worry I’m being pathetic or over reacting. I can’t talk to him because he just says he’s not arguing , when I just want to talk not argue . We’ve been together 2.5 years he followed thousands of insta accounts in the beginning of these types and I never told him or would tell him to delete things just explained I found it very strange and how it made me feel, then he actually removed the account and made another but noticed him slowly following the same things . Then the whole lying about twitter and telling me he hasn’t liked things when he has can make you second guess yourself. He doesn’t see it as a problem .

He doesn’t see it as a problem because looking at those images turns him on and makes him feel good.

He has no respect for you and is just looking out for his needs. He won’t change his addicted ways.

@Raveon2000 sorry you’ve been through this , yes it does! My self esteem is through the floor. Feeling like I’m not good enough is horrible . Hope you got through it

To me, the fact that he was following these type of accounts in the beginning would have been a massive turn off. In fact, I'd say it was a red flag and I wouldn't have given him the time of day.

i just worry I’m being pathetic or over reacting

Let's pick this apart, because it'll be at the root of all your self esteem issues, and it'll be the reason that someone else's behaviour has been allowed to affect your self esteem.

When you talk about 'being pathetic', who is the person/authority who gets to decide whether or not you are, actually, being pathetic? Whose decision is that? This isn't rhetorical: try to answer it.

When you talk about 'over reacting', who is the person/authority who gets to decide whether you are, actually, over reacting?

Glad you have got rid of him. Stay strong.
And quite honestly, when you say you think you are insecure, theres no bloody wonder. What he is doing would make even those with great self esteem start doubting themselves.

You'll find with him gone out of your life that you'll start to get back your self esteem. And with him not sapping it out of you every day, you'll feel stronger and more confident. And you'll find someone someday who respects you, lifts you up, instead of making you feel shit.

The thing is, people with high self esteem would've swerved this excuse of a man from the off.

No, you deserve better. Find yourself, then find yourself a better quality man if you decide you want one.